Wednesday, August 6, 2025

Not Your Typical “Grumpy Old Man” Motorcycle

 


🤨?

Let’s see:
Automatic transmission
Airbags
Heated seats
Forward and reverse
Hork, spit - infotainment system
Blah 
Blah
Blah…


Well - I am a grumpy old man and let me tell you: if I were any orneryer, anymore constipated, with a micro-bladder compromised by a melon sized prostate  with the left side of my brain vapour locked…why, those are exactly the features I’d want! Even I’m not old and feeble enough to justify a ride like that!

I burn the inside of my left leg and bum cheek on my V twin engine and I like it!!! I don’t need a gawddamned idiot lite on the heads up display to tell me I left my saddle bag open, I don’t need air assisted shocks or a fuggin chipped engine with “sport mode”. Get off my lawn you fuggin little chits!!!
🤬

Holy crap. Y’know… Big Red is 11 years old now. When I bought that thing I thought I had it all! Cruise control, Bluetooth, stereo system, ABS… what more could a guy want? 11 years! Where does the time go? It’s gone in the blink of an eye. The years pass so fast, now. Ol’ Red isn’t the only relic knocking about the grounds here at Castle Limegreene…
😞

I got a ton of chores today but… dammit… I’m gonna roll out ol’ Red, spit shine ‘em again and go for a ride. When I go to the gas station, I’ll stick the key in the gas cap and pour him a drink. I won’t have to push buttons and beg the computer to open the hatch to get at the gas tank. 

Why, if it’s all well and good to be thankful for the things you have… true wisdom is being able to appreciate the things ya DON’T have!!! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!

😂👍

There’s some things that’re just better done the old way. 


2 comments:

  1. I've heard that the current (and maybe previous) generation of design engineers in Japan all grew up on scooters and are still mainly scooter riders. They're like little kids trying to design a grown up motorcycle. That's why all the big Jap manufacturers are pushing the so-called auto trannys. DCT and whatever else, clutchless shifting, etc. I've yet to hear an American man say that he prefers the auto over the manual. Oh, they might praise its ease or smoothness for the promo material, but even this guy said he prefers the manual version. The whole auto transmission on a motorcycle is a wasted effort IMO.

    I do get the reverse. That's a lot of poundage to push around the garage, especially if it ain't totally level or you got a pretty good lip between driveway and garage.

    My two main deals with the Goldwing is that a) I don't do enough touring to justify $30k for another toy and b) the tire technology is still lacking - every Goldwing guy I know has a story of the rear tire blow-out due to overloading. A lot of guys are putting car tires on the rear now just to handle the weight.

    Otherwise, a magnificent feat of engineering.

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  2. Carb, points, oil puddle, grease stains, scrapes, dings, a smidgen of little rust spots and slatherings of slain insects. Not one diode or transistor. No plastics. Leather and wood is permitted. Ecoconutjobs and tech fanbois should swoon, stroke, defecate, urinate, vomit and seize with wailing and gnashing of teeth. The rider should match.

    Stefan v.

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