No Easter Baskets For Old Men

Will my children get Easter baskets until they’re thirty? yes

- Ginger Cook (GC)

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Would you give your adult children an Easter Basket? What would ya put in it? With my kid? Ughhh…I’ll take The Fifth on that. Adults eat and love chocolate so a little bit of that’s a given. The girls’d probly get a pound or two of fancy coffee, maybe? Maybe a novel? They’d take some careful planning because if yer not careful… you could buy something awful like “50 Shades Of Gay” or, gawd forbid - ‘female gooner monster porn’. The polite term for it is “romantasy” I guess. Probly would have to get the help of the old lady because an effort like this for young women would be truly serious business.

The boys’d be easy - a couple a boxes of 22 shells, some fishing lures… carton of smokes. Go down to Home Despot and just cruise the front aisle for the latest and greatest cheap little gizmos. The little tiny tool collections are a big hit too. Drill bits, miniature pliers n jeweller’s screw drivers - they got all that crap and they tend to go over well. They’ll eat chocolate. Hell…  step on their foot, their mouths’ll open up and you can shovel in any biomass ya want and they’ll run just fine on it.

Adult Easter baskets’d be a great way to get a few yuks too with some gag gifts. What would an Easter basket for an old stubfart look like? 

🤨

Welp… chocolate is optional for us. Most of us’ll probably be avoiding it actually. A big jar of stinky pickled eggs would be mandatory. It’s Easter, after all - so fuck your triglycerides and cholesterol and man up! Load them up with lots of salt n’ pepper - and let the crop dusting begin! HAR HAR HAR!!! I suppose we could do with 22 shells and lures too. Maybe a box of Brussel Sprouts… a couple cheap cigars. Ya want to keep gifts for cheap and small because we already have everything we need and most of our wants are taken care of. A rotten joke and your time is all we need, when ya get right down to it.

What about an Easter basket for Grandma…? You definitely will want help with that one…

Staying Oriented

 

That’s NOT funny!!!

But it’s true enough I suppose. The Church of England has been full of whack-a-doodles and hoople heads for at least 50 years. I generally tend to avoid denominational disagreements over church canon and ecclesiastical differences. God doesn’t talk to me so whadda I know? In their defence… I think I heard the Church of England is in revolt. Congregations have split away from the clowns and now have their own branch and denominations that reject the corrupt leaders. All the frootier denominations are fractionating now.

There’s a blurb in the Bible where Moses can’t turn his back on the jews for longer than 5 seconds or they start building idols and worshiping them. In his place… I’d have asked my Maker to flood those assholes again, HAR HAR HAR! 

Along the same vein, I remember reading a paper from a period scholar that was hacked right off with Martin Luther and his printing presses. Luther could have newly translated bibles in everyone’s hands in a mere few months!!! And every poisoned mind could use them to come up with poisoned faith and spread it the same way. Martin is regarded as one of the good guys by our church…but this guy had a point too. If you cast pearls before swine… the pig will sometimes wear them… And today? We do it at the speed of light. 

Schisms are supposedly driven by greed but I wonder? The pattern is always the same with woke churches. The old clerics are driven off, at least half the congregation goes with them … and the new churches eventually close the doors. What do the clowns get out of it? Our little chapel out in the country has a few refugees from other denominations and they have to travel a fair ways to get there. How do we fix this? I’m asking because I gave up. I couldn’t hold my own family together. So whadda I know? 

***

I was rummaging in my plunder the other day and came up with a couple of GPS handhelds. One still works. These days I really don’t need a GPS. But back in the day when I was camping, hunting and fishing in the back country… I relied on them. Quads can travel further in a half hour than you can walk in a day. 

Do people even use GPS handhelds anymore…? The kids all seem to be wearing computer watches or using cell phones these days. I’m going back to the compass. Nowadays I don’t go far enough to justify GPS technologies… all I need is a land mark and magnetic north…and I generally can figure out where I am and where I need to go.

I hope you all are spiritually and geographically oriented this Easter too? Spare a thought for your Maker and keep your kids close. Don’t let them wander off. It is far, far too easy to lose them in these chaotic times. 

Thanks for stopping by - and have a blessed Easter.

Stubfart Ramble: Still Alive

 

Uggghhh. I’m still here fellas. I guess Blooger is letting me poast pics again. That was one of the sights on Dawg Patrol this morn. The Niglet and I put on 7 miles which took most of the morn. We’ll probably do another one or two with Fergus when it warms up a bit in the afternoon. We’re both taking a breather. We’ll do another one or two with Fergus when it warms up. We’re trying to get our summer legs under us so I can scout out a 4200 acre parcel of land later in the fall. I only have hunting permission for one section, but the right of trespass on the rest. I can shoot there, but only after discussing it with the land owner. He knows where all the cattle are at any given time and I want to know too. I’m smart enough not to shoot a cow… but you can’t blame the farmers for their paranoia these days. 

I figure this bull dog nose warmer will fit better in

the pocket or a tobacco pouch. 

You ever smoke one of these shorties? How was it? 

That’s a new pipe I just bought off Fleabay. I decided to try my homegrown tobacco from last year. It was okay - but no screaming hell. I went down to the tobacconist and bought some Virginia - and then just dumped it all into a mixing bowl and stirred it up. I’ve heard that smoking pipes is much like drinking scotch: with scotch you can pay through the nose for prestigious bottlings, 15 years or older, costing a small fortune… and get a bottle of fuggin lighter fluid. Most folks will find the cheaper offerings far more appealing and approachable. So it goes with pipes. You can buy beautiful works of art that smoke like dawgs, and beaters that smoke great. Buying anything off Fleabay is a crapshoot I suppose.

The great zippo lighter experiment is still in progress. I bought a cheesy tactical looking zippo replacement case with a gasket arrangement to theoretically prevent the loss of fuel through evaporation. I used to run out of fuel in a week… but I am at close to two weeks now… so it’s okay, I guess? The other one is an experiment one of the commentators suggested. It’s wrapped in gorilla tape, and I’m going to test it at 30 day intervals. I can’t see fuel evaporating as it’s completely sealed up… but who knows? This would be an excellent emergency lighter for the bug out bag or the ass pack. It will be an excellent way to store a lighter you don’t use often - if it works.

In other news I finally flipped my lid and got the scopes dug out of my plunder and mounted on the proper rifles. I’d been meaning to do it forever but never got round to it.

So now the Ruger No.1 is wearing a Zeiss 3-9

The 10/22 is wearing an ooooooold B&L 3x9 (before they got whored out by Bushnell).

The 223 Tupperware Rifle wears its Swarovski 3x9

The CZ wears a possibly pooched old Bushnell Elite 4x16

I dunno folks. I’m not a fan of high magnification scopes. I hate buggering around with parallax and I just don’t need the bulk or weight either. But whadda I know?

All I know for sure is that the chores aren’t going to do themselves… and I gotta walk these dawgs again. There’s no rest for the wicked.

Hope to see ya back again soon!

Cheers!

Filthie

That’s gotta be a record Cornback Python! Worthy of a Marine or a truck driver I’d wager… 😂👍 The cultural enrichMINT continues apace.

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Today’s Product And Services Endorsement

 Sorry - but blooger isn’t letting me poost certain things unless I enable cookies - and they can go suck a fart.

But! If your truck smells like dead farts, dawgs and cigars as mine does… there are remedies to consider.

Repairing Crumbling Foundations

 

I’m watching the latest adaptation of Star Trek circle the toilet bowl on OyTube. I gave up on Trek and Star Wars ages ago. There’s no fixing them at this point. I watch Nerdrotic and The Critical Drinker retch and vomit with their scathing critiques. You couldn’t pay me to watch that shite. 

I tried to watch the latest adaptation of Asimov’s “Foundation” series on Apple but there were too many magical negroes and impossibly strong wahmen and I gave up on that too. Marvel movies are a complete write off too… and that’s probably a good place to start the redemption process. Go back to the beginning. Repair the foundations.

I outline the specifics on Blab.

* I ran first ran into J. Jonah Jameson in the 60s and unlike the other li’l spankers… I loved him. The older I get… the more I like him. He’d be the first character I’d restore.

😂👍

Thanks for stopping by.

What Would You Do?

 

It’s just a blurb about how FDR forced Americans to turn in their gold and use his new fiat bucks in 1933.

(The fags at blogger want me to enable a bunch of cookies in order to poast pics now. My Outlook account is demanding access to all my devices so I’m going to close it… but for some reason I can’t access it anymore. The fun never stops with Microsoft). 

I dunno if I would comply or not. I’m looking at all those people lined up in the pic to be scalped… and I dunno what to think. I’d have partially complied, maybe? 

I just wonder if there’s any real way to defend your wealth from govts. I know in China everyone thought bitcoin would end the govt monopoly on cash and credit. But the gooks just told the people that if they were caught using bitcoin - it was a one way ticket to the firing squad. 

I dunno what a guy does…

In Which Filthie Visits His Elderly Mother

 

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