Friday Ramble N Scramble: Hits N Misses

Ick. Just…yeeccchhhttt! 🤮

What about youse guys? Ever see a blade like this in Yank Land? 

And another thing!

Stop putting lanyards on yer damn blades!

They’re useless and gay!

The only thing that says “I’m a fuggin retard” more than a minivan - is a knife like this. Look - I don’t give a hoot if you can effortlessly slice through 500 MCM cable with one swipe with this thing. I don’t care how well it holds an edge, I don’t care how well it balances in the hand, I don’t care if it’s all that and a bag a chips! It’s stupid looking, and if I didn’t know better I’d say it was made by Fisher Price! And - they’re all over the place up here in Alberta. Years ago when I saw Skinbag using one I let everyone at the rod n gun club know he was gay. And they all agreed! He’s still mad about it… but it serves him right! And he continues to use it despite my disapproval!!!

😡

Apparently I’m wrong about Fisher Price making them. They’re made by some retarded clam diggers in Nova Scotia…and all their designs are ugly as sin.

Apparently these guys are Canada’s answer to the Buck family and their iconic knives down in the USA.

I’m just not seeing it, myself. I’m a grumpy old fart that wasted his entire life as an irredeemable gun and blade whore. I’ve bought blades and sold them and given them away and made a few myself. As I enter the autumn years of my life… I’m convinced that the best general use blade out there is a cheapo Mora. If you’re willing to spend money I tend toward the elegant light Bowie style blades or the Scandihoovian puukos. 

If you are using a blade like that and enjoying it - you’re wrong. I just want you all to know that. And - I am offended by you.

****

Hmmmpffff. I don’t know much about Thomas or any of the great biblical scholars. I happen to concur with him in that faith and reason seldom disagree. At one time I could have maybe been a disciple - because Lord Almighty… shitty human beings pished me right the hell off. But the socials have utterly destroyed me.

I see the hordes, swarms, and legions of intellectual derelicts, the spiteful mutants, the demons… and I don’t know what you expect me to do about it, Thomas? Is it age? Wisdom? Fatigue? I still get grumpy and irritable the way old men do… but it’s getting harder and harder for me to get mad. Thomas is telling me that’s a sin? I have my hands chock full just trying NOT to be human trash! Forgive me, Thomas, but I don’t have the brain cells to be my brother’s keeper. I already failed miserably as a father. And as a son, my mother is quick to point out…

If I were like you and had my Maker’s Ear… I’d tell Him to flood it again! 😂💨

 ****

Darwin And Murphy Piss Upon Us

I need a fact check on this…? So… she tortured and murdered a classmate  100 years ago. She insists on an all-female execution team. And she soaks up TWO lethal injections… and sleeps them off…?…..??

Unnecessary agony? YGBSM… 

Just send her up her to Canada fellas. We kill shitty old women all the time! We call it MAID (Medical Assistance In Dying). Do it right in the hospital and then it’s off to the morgue in one easy convenient stop!

😊👍

Tells ya what: send Pelosi, AOC and Mitch… we’ll give ya a volume discount! HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR!

Can you imagine what would have happened if it was an all female firing squad? HAR HAR HAR!!!

😂👍

Clown World continues apace.

****

Finer Things: Adventures In EDC

I am known disparagingly in certain circles as a “gear queer”. I bristle at the term - I prefer more polite terminology like like “gear whore”. I love the EDC ‘pocket dump’ vids where the fellas show off all the crap and plunder they carry around every day. We used to do much the same thing on fishin’ trips. Ya got your tackle box out, opened it up and explained your lures to the fellas at the campfire at the end of the day. And then we’d all fight and argue about what worked, and what didn’t and why. Same with the rifles and day packs in fall during hunting season. There’s something cathartic about such discussions. I suppose the trades guys do the same thing with tools and implements. Computer geeks… I wonder if women do it? (They probly sit around and bitch about their idiot men, HAR HAR HAR!!!😂).

So I’m watching Buddy on OyTube dump his pockets and he’s got the gun, mini flashlight, some exotic multitool, a field note pad, and a mini-fountain pen. Well… I thought he’d lost his marbles! The guys even asked him if he was retarded? I dunno about you, but I’ve always hated pens. In summer they blow up in your pocket from the heat and ruin your clothes. In winter they freeze up and don’t work. And fountain pens? Those were always in the wheelhouse of fops and office suits that signed their paperwork with elaborate flourishing finials. I could never make fountain pens work. The nibs all got bunged up and started skipping. But some guys had no problem with them and knew how to make them work. Some guys even had special pens reserved exclusively for signatures. A fountain pen. For EDC.

Hrrrmmmpffff! 

🤨

But the fella was adamant. His handy li’l pen survived and thrived in the EDC role. He’s got a million miles on it, it’s never let him down, and us skeptics could all just go stick our heads down the toilet and flush a few times if we didn’t like it. Believe it or else!

I couldn’t help myself. I bought one exactly like his. I also got a box of ink cartridges. The cap screws together on these - no friction fit. If it does blow up in your pocket the mess will be contained in the pen itself. I watched a few OyTubes on the care and feeding of these things too. There’s not much to them… but I can see why I had so many problems with them as a kid. I think the big thing is to keep that nib clean. Mine is a medium nib … and it writes like a super slick Bic. About the only real gripe I have is that the ink smudges a tiny bit on my waterproof writing pads… which is to be expected I guess? But… for now, I think I’m liking it. A pencil is probably still the best bet for a guy like me… but this might be a great cross over pen for both field and office work. I’m not going to recommend it…yet. But preliminary testing has been positive so far. I am guardedly optimistic to be honest.

****

The snow is gonna fly soon, boys. If ya can… it might be a great time for one last cruise in the hot rod or antique out in the garage. Or in my case, one last ride on the bike in the autumn leaves. Take your girl along for the ride. Or go walk the dawg and have a fall picnic. Time for such things may be shorter than you think. I hope you all have a great weekend and we’ll see y’all next week.

Cheers!

Filthie

Hare Lipped Retard Math Problems & Other Conundrums

G’marnin!!! I’m so glad you stopped in!!! ‘It is time, the stubfart said, to talk of many things.’ How about we pick on the retarded kids first? That’s always fun!

OMFG!!!

🤬

Who even does something like this!?! According to some random fuggin internet retard:

m + p = 220

m - p = 160

Add the two equations, p - p cancels:

2m = 380

m = 190

Check by substituting 190 for m:

190 + p = 220, p = 220 - 190 = 30

190 - p = 160, 190 - 160 = p = 30

😖

Why use one variable when you can use two?? Who cares if ya get the wrong answer as long as ya methodology is right? Guys like this are why the toilets on the Artemis rocket ship and the USS Gerald R Ford  backed up. This is why we gotta import millions of pajeets and kabobs to take our own jobs. This is what happens when guys like General Aesop “show their work…”! 

30, eh…? Subbing that back into the problem…  160+30=190. ❌

Clearly, something has to be wrong. Perhaps Ginderjeet or Chublubbabbabbabbabbabbaadaa can solve this complex problem..?

X + Y = 220

Y = 160

X + 160 = 220

X = 220 - 160

X = 60

Check by subbing it back into the problem: 160 + 60 = 220 ✔️

Sheesh!!! 

Uh oh. 

I think I better leave the subject of retard scholastic 

Problems right here.

This discussion could go in the wrong hole all too fast…

But for the record… You got it right, Cederq! ✔️

Full marks!

HAR HAR HAR!!!

****

The fall leaves are in the wind. They started to blow last weekend. It got a li’l chilly at night too. We had a good trip.

Fergle got some new operator badges courtesy of Flapz.

It’s his first fall; he’ll be one year old in November.

He has a sweater to ward off the chill. 

During the day I ran the AC. It was almost furnace weather at night.

Everyone went to bed late.

But I stayed up with a pack of smuggled cigarettes and

a crock of fine Canadian whisky. 

That’s Caribou Crossing, if yer interested.

It’s very smooth but people will disagree on whether it’s worth the price.

By itself… I am conflicted on it too, a bit? These days the distillers wrestle and jostle for snob appeal. Caribou comes in a fancy bottle with an ornate Caribou stopper rather than a cork and screams “First Class” from the box. But in the glass, on the nose… ehhhh? I dunno. This is not a whisky to pull out on casual occasions. You’ll find it fine enough to drink but to really set it off.. you’ll need a mild Canadian autumn night, a campfire (burned down to glowing embers) - and a stolen pack of your favourite smokes. With a full moon, with coyotes singing on the breeze? It’s exquisite.

The next morn, though…?

🤢

The next day, tragedy struck. Our camping companions - Flapz and M… they had been getting ready to welcome a new baby into their family. They bought a pup named Loki…he was just a couple weeks old and still had another week or two to go with his mother before being taken home. The breeder called as we were packing up to go home… I guess the little bugger developed respiratory problems in the night and was gone by morning. Poor M was in tears and some campfire smoke might a gotten in my eyes a bit too. They had pics of him on the phone and everything.

Of course such a tragedy calls for tact, restraint and sympathy so I opened up and shot my damned mouth off. I told M that it sucks, it hurts, but ya suck it up and keep moving! A modern man needs at least one dawg. More is preferable. He needs a dawg, a rifle, a truck and a rod. These are basics and they’re mandatory. Womenfolk need dawgs too. When your truck dies, you replace it. When you shoot the barrel out on your rifle you rebarrel it or buy a new one. Dawgs are the toughest but it’s like wiping out on a motorcycle… you’ll get up, you dust yourself off and you get back on it. Traumatic losses like that are best faced head on. For better or or worse I told them to pick out another pup and get it done. I didn’t say any of it to be mean… I just felt so damned bad about the whole business so I shot my mouth off about the way I’d handle it. I may be an insensitive oaf… but in my defence, my heart was talking rather than my head! One of these days maybe I’ll learn to shut my hole? People have to face these things their way…and I forget that sometimes…I guess I am a retard too.

😞

****

But even stopped clocks are right twice a day. We got a text to be at Flapz’ acreage on Friday night. No explanation - only other info was that our attendance was mandatory. 

This is Loki’s sister. Her name is Luna.

M took my scholarly advice.

Luna is a Rottie and she is going to be a monster. She’s 8 weeks old, as big as Fergie but double his weight. Hannah and Fergus apparently approved of her. She has great big mitts for paws, beautiful brown eyes and puppy teeth that are as sharp as fish hooks. I am green with envy but my wife won’t let me have anymore dogs. But… sometimes the good guys win, and this story has a happy ending. I hope it is an even happier beginning. Welcome to our tribe, Luna. 

****

King Peter disappeared into the bush awhile back and I wrote him off. I figured the coyotes got him but it turns out that he knocked down a nice li’l elk.

Lots a meat for the freezer, and if he’s not careful, I’ll have those antlers and will be making knife handles with them! HAR HAR HAR!!! 😊👍

I don’t get it - this year he bought a new high end Winchester Model 70 in .280. I was at least smart enough not to tell him… but I hated it. At the range it wouldn’t properly kick the spent shells out on the ejection. For the amount of money these things cost… I’m gonna say it…THIS is why our jobs are being outsourced and we are getting replaced in the workplace in our own countries. That rifle was sold as a premium gun at top dollar… and it doesn’t eject….? How does shite like that even get past QA/QC…? 30 or 40 years ago North Americans didn’t build crap like that. I personally had a Marlin Guide gun malfunction right out of the box too. I’ve seen sloppy tolerances and shoddy finishing on other guns. If we don’t pull up our damned socks, this kind of crap is going to kill us and rightfully so. Bill Ruger, John Moses and Oliver would shit their pants with rage if they were alive to see the crap coming out of the factories these days.

Pete also informs me that he’s looking hard at a high end Euro gun.

What in hell is this?

And why does King Peter want it?

It appears to be a pricey H&R style break open single shot. I dunno what chambering that is…? Almost strikes me as some kind of archaic forerunner to the .220 Swift, maybe? Comes with brass and dies for a couple grand. Peter ordered me to do a feasibility study on it. The reloading bench gurus say that more brass can be made from the parent case - the 7x57R. This isn’t typically amm that is found everywhere.

I have very limited experience with this kind of reloading. Out of curiosity I tried making .243 cases from .308 brass. Necking and trimming was easy enough, and they’d chamber just fine. But to reload them I would have needed to invest in a neck turner. And then I guess the cases would need to be fire formed? 100 years ago, Baloney Bob used to make ammo for a wildcat he came up with called the “.240 Pronghorn”. All it was, was a 7x57 necked down to 6mm with a blown out and improved shoulder. If a bum like him could do it…there’s no reason us stubfart retards can’t do it. But…ughhh. 

I am getting old and lazy. I told Pete to shit or get off the pot. Buy the gun and we’ll figure it out… or pass on it and get something more sensible and easier to feed. I totally get the attraction to archaic rifles in obsolete calibres… but bringing them back from extinction is work… and I’m not particularly interested in that these days…HAR HAR HAR!

😂👍

****

So… my autumn, in my autumn years, is off to a good start. I hope you guys are getting out and enjoying the changing seasons, and that your families are as well. Thanks for stopping by, and I’ll check in again next week. 

Take care.

Filthie

Sick Puppies: Today In Pooh Crime

This poast is so heinous… so awful… and graphic… I HAVE  to bury it under the fold! I know guys with weak stomachs and constitutions like Mike, Cederq and Bear Claw - why, they’d keel right over dead if they saw real horror and senseless crime like this!

Pearl clutchers, snivellers, and especially bed wetters are strongly advised - do not proceed beyond this point.

High Speed Low Drag Enshittification: From The “Serves Ya Right” Files

I’m old enough to remember the days where businesses and senior execs wouldn’t consider - even for a second - the profit margins involved with cutting your own throat. But I guess now that it’s part of the business cycle. With some companies it took decades - Rolex (of all the people) has been cutting its own throat with their legendary Submariner and GMT watches for ages. In the watch world, anyone who can afford them… no longer wants them. 

Enshittification applies to everything now… and the speed of the process seems to be accelerating. I’m looking at vehicles and everything out there just turns me right off. I’m flat out not going to buy anything that runs off my cell phone, needs subscription services for anything to work… and costs more than my house. 

The reason this comes to mind is my good buddies at Temu. Two years ago I bought some cheapo runners for dawg walking. I figgered if I got a couple months out of them they were still a good bargoon. The wife bought me a pair that held together for two years for about $7.00. (I can’t remember how much they cost - but it was a pittance). If you’re like me, you can scrap a pair of Adidas or Nikes in 6 months or a year. The wife saw them go on sale and bought me two more new pairs. Well…. I finally had to let the original pair die after an honourable and hard service life… and broke out a new pair.

HFS! They were complete GARBAGE. They’d have been a rip off at half the price! I need a bit of support and fit from a shoe but these things simply would NOT fit! A few blocks - and me feet would slide over the sole and they hit the garbage can on day one. Maybe the chinks put the retarded kids in the sewing machine sweatshop the day those were made…? I broke out the second pair … and the same thing again…! I’m hobbled right up after less than ten miles now!

😡

Even at three bucks a pair, these things are a rip.

I’m tossing the second pair too.

I can’t really bitch I suppose. I shoulda just spent the damn money and paid for quality footwear. But the wife can’t say no to a bargoon! And who can blame her when the first pair were such champs? The hell of enshittification is that we are paying corporate shithawks to shaft us…and themselves, and anyone that works and does business with them. I don’t get it?

I’m going back to my trusty shit kickers. Those are Redwing moc toes I bought in 2019. I wore them hard for four or five years… and the treads are bald and worn down. They are going in for a re-sole next week. That’s going to cost around…$200.00, maybe? If I could get another four or five years out of them I’d be happier than a pig in the mud! They wear like bedroom slippers. But… how long is it until Redwing Shoes enshittifies itself…? 

The Racist Overtones Of White Cheerleaders

100 years ago I was a kid that went to FR Haythorne junior high school. The school was infamous for its ‘Opps”.  Opps were properly called Opportunity Students. But honestly they were just retards. What really made these kids ‘special’ wasn’t their lack of cognitive ability… it was their courage. Those kids were absolutely fearless with no concept of self preservation or consequences. And if you wanted to pull a fast one in Haythorne school but were too chicken to face the consequences - you got a fuggin Opp to do it for you. (No, i was not an Opp but you would be correct to suspect it). Unlike me - our Opps had the courage  that would shame a kamikaze pilot or even a green bean United States Marine!

One day after school, Old Man Martin was enjoying a smoke with the other bus drivers as us kids slowly loaded onto the bus to go home. He had foolishly left the bus idling while us kids trooped on board. Out of nowhere… this brain wiped 13 year old Opp got on, and calmly sat in the driver’s seat. He closed the door, put the bus in gear…and we all went for a couple laps around the parking lot before we had a low speed crash in the teacher’s parking lot. The bus drivers all got in shit and were never again allowed to leave their buses while the kids loaded up at home time. Woe be unto he whom forgets the almighty power of the Opps!

Another time, my buddy, Pee Head (he got his nickname back in grade two) discovered a service hallway that led to the school’s boilers and electrical switch gear. The old school was built in the 50s and its main power cutoff was a big honking lever that, once thrown - would shut the entire school down. Right beside it was a door that a juvenile prankster could use to escape outside after plunging the school into total darkness. Pee Head threw the lever a couple times before growing bored with it. He also feared getting caught so he taught the Opps how to do it and we started having daily black outs at school. Rumour had it that the same Opp was always doing it but he was too dumb to learn from strapping, spanking and other painful corporeal punishMINTs. Of course the adults were furious and wanted to lock that corridor down. But I guess the fire fighters held things up because they wanted no barriers between them and the switchgear in the event of an emergency. Eventually the fire fighters were over ruled and Pee Head and the OPPs got locked out for good. If the fire fighters ever had to get in fast in the event of a fire… some deft axe work would get them through the door as fast as a key.

I suppose there’s a good reason why all those public educators are neurotic union assholes that think they’re under paid!!! HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! 😂👍 HAR HAR HAR!!! Errrrr…please bear with me, this is going somewhere, I promise…

I bring all this up because I’m seeing the same Opp principle at work in my life now. That craven coward - Eaton Rapids Joe - finds objectionable innernet content but he’s to damned chicken to poast it on his own blog where the grown ups will give him shite for it. So, like Pee Head all those years ago - he passes it off to the blogosphere Opp to poast it for him. In other words he passes it on to me knowing I’ll poost it up and get in chit for it!  

I’m already on very thin ice with the Blogger Gestapo for Crimes Against 🌈The Community🏳️‍🌈 so Rather than invite the fury of the Pink Shirts … I poasted it in a squalid, fetid corner of Chudstack:

The Racist Overtones Of White Cheerleaders

I hope you all find it as inspiring and entertaining as Joe and I did. I hope your Friday is fast and short, and that you’re able to keep your pronouns, washrooms and orifices correct over the weekend. Thanks again for stopping in.

Cheers!

Filthie 

Filthie Science Theatre 3000 AD And Other Ass-Hattery

I think it’s actually called “Mystery Science Theatre 3000”? It stars some guy with a couple retarded robot muppets and they sit around watching horrible old sci-fi C or even D movies from ages past? The hosts sit in the movie theatre seats and throw popcorn at the movie screen, they slag the actors, the plots and themes from the days of The Old World Order? I’ve only ever seen clips of it on OyTube.

I’m watching “Beyond The Time Barrier” produced in 1960.

I’m only halfway through it but I intend to finish watching it when chores permit.

I’m also watching the “12 Monkeys” TV series which, I think, is a whored out version of a 1995 movie. Comparing and contrasting the two shows is the difference between night and day… but there’s so many similarities too. It is my conviction that there has been almost no new original thought in the scifi space since about the early 70s… maybe even the 60’s? Dystopian plague, time travel, rinse and repeat. If you choose to watch the old 60’s flick… around the 40 minute mark, the egghead scientist characters explain to Our Hero how his jet/rocket fighter plane attained the speed of light - and I was just smitten. Up your ass with your Relativity, Einstein! HAR HAR HAR!!! I suppose there were even elements of proto-shithouse-environMINTalism in it!!! But it was pitched as a sci-fi horror.

😂👍

I suppose sci-fi has always been “message fiction”. One of the big tropes was about how messing with the atom could have horrifying consequences in the future. So it goes for gene manipulation, eugenics, oddball social movements, etc. But… in the campy, corny old world movies, the message and scolding was at least sincere. Nowadays, the messaging is all fake and gay. Sci-fi has been hijacked by the queers, feminists, socialists, and other degenerates to polish turds for their preferred lifestyles, agendas and warped values. It’s so tiresome and disappointing.

This refreshing scifi movie just came out on Netflix and Prime.

“Signal One” is refreshing in that it at least tries to return to sci-fi roots, where the yarn is actually trying to tell a science based story rather than justifying fudge packing, cnuty girl boss feminism and other ass battery. It’s not a blockbuster or cinematic trail blazer… but it is fun… unlike the majority of repetitive and derivative gender slop being seen today.

****

Contemplating A Move…

I’ve tried to move away from Blogger before. I was catching flak from Community Terms And Conditions Nazis at Blogger for crimespeak and crime thought. I flipped the middle finger at the pig noses, the 425 lb. Tinkerbelles and other fairie folk, cancelled the blog and moved to Blab. I had a couple problems with Gab though - It didn’t allow me to format my stuff the way I wanted. The other was that the platform was a shit magnet for real, bonafide Nazis and lunatics. We’re talking guys that seriously propose to liquidate da joos, the vibrants, and gawd only knows who else. You can bet your arse that it was an FBI/CSIS/Interpol/etc honey pot for the three letter agencies. Not that I was afraid of them or the loons or anything… the rude and dirty jokes and memes were superb. The furtive and secretive mysterious M hangs out there with some of the other stubfarts. But… it didn’t feel like home, if ya know what I mean?

So… I came back here set up again… and started seriously looking for new digs that would respect free speech as Blab does… but with better blog functionality. And…I think I found it, maybe? I chit-poasted a couple trials and I personally like it. I’d appreciate it if you’d take a look - if you have the time?

Axe Flingin’ *aggotry

What We Lost And Why

A word up front to the retards and stubfarts: I will tolerate NO rude jokes or snide comments about my axe-related negligence stupidity retardation…Ughhh!!!!  Okay, alright!!!! Maybe I DO deserve a royal flush in the bloody terlet!! ! But… I don’t have to like it!!!

🤬

There is only one negative I’ve found with using Substack. At first you will get positively SPAMMED with lunatics like these:

And these

And these

And these

Etc. 

The good news is that the algorithm on Substack is pretty good. The secret is to start blocking the Usual Suspects without mercy. Follow and/or subscribe to guys like Art Sido, Matt Bracken, Yours Truly or any other stubfart talking head that pops up on your feed. The algorithm will start filtering out the sewage fairly quickly. So far I’ve had no problem with the censors and lunatics that infest the other platforms. In fact… I think I’ve fallen into the corner of the platform that the kids call “Chudstack”.  

I’m 80% convinced that I’m gonna move there. I’ll keep this blog open as a back up, maybe?  Let me know what ya think, if ya would.

****

Early Fall Needful Things

The first leaves are turning and falling. I haven’t smelled snow on the wind yet… but it’s coming. The hell of it all is that I ran out of firewood for the backyard pit and camping. I have the block house full of seasoned cut rounds… but I need to get off my arse and split them. I can’t swing an axe like I used to and I bought a cheapo electric splitter 100 years ago.

I an SO thankful for this appliance. I have low back issues but even so… I’ve easily split a couple chords over the years for ourselves, friends and family. It’s slow… but it’s a “tortoise and the hare” scenario. You might be able to swing an axe like Paul Bunyan but… for how long? I can do this all morning long and maybe a little bit more. Today I put up several wheelbarrows of split, seasoned firewood… and it’s time to soothe my aching back muscles.

 

Ahhhhhhh… is there anything better or more relaxing than a methane 

bubble bath?

😊👍

Well I hope y’all are keeping up with your chores, that you’re productive and useful… unlike me! The days are getting shorter and I’m told that Alberta is scrapping daylight savings time now? The spring ahead/fall behind thing never really bothered me personally but the whiners couldn’t stop bitching about it! So I guess I’ll be hanging out with my buddy Oskaar in Iceland this winter…

Take care, you guys - and I hope we’ll see ya next week.

Cheers!

Filthie

Which Way, Western Man…?

Either way, fellas… the future is unquestionably female! HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!