The Filthie Pyro: Reconsidering The Zippo

 

So I’ve basically given up on matches for my emergency and bushcraft stores. Thanks to liberal and nanny state faggotry I can’t buy them or easily make them myself. I have tons of the shitty anemic ones but I simply won’t rely on them. I stocked up on Bic lighters and have at least a dozen in the house and squirrelled away. 

But… I have a few zippos too. I adore them. They feel great in the hand, they ride well in the pocket, they’re super handy. I love the memories they evoke. My dad and grandpa smoked like stacks and the “ka-chink/snick” sound stirs many fond memories as they lit up during breaks. I love the smell of them. The nostalgia and charm of them are not lost on me either. The problem is the damn things just won’t retain lighter fluid! It evaporates away and sure as chit… when you need them - they’re dry and you are SOL! my zippos sleep in a decorative wooden box beside my pipe, along with a couple Bics. What a waste. Used to be Pop would sit down a couple times a week and refill his zippo and wind his watch. It was a ritual. It was a good time to catch him and discuss important father/son business like who the toughest guy on Stampede Wrestling was, why is mom such a stupid bitch, why can’t I have an allowance without having to work for it…

😂👍

Such was the life of a little kid 50~60 years ago… today my watch is solar powered. It’s linked via satellite to a cesium atomic clock in Europe. It does altitude/barometer, stopwatch, timer, compass, temp, day/date, GMT… and it’s tougher and keeps better time than a Rolex. Certainly better than the manual winding Timex watches that working men had back in the day. When I was smoking I lost my Bic lighters before I ran them out. Mine “grew legs” and walked away. Others ended up in my pocket because I forgot to give them back. No one cares; if it runs out ya throw it away and buy another one. Or a pack of them. If Pop and Grandpa had access to these things they’d have thrown their accouterments in the garbage and grabbed the modern replacements in a heartbeat, and be thankful for them! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! Your cell phone will blow the best wrist watch out of the water too.

In my comments it was said that Bics have a shelf life and that the flints will crumble over time. I’ve never noticed that because I generally lose them within a month or two! But it does pay to have back up. The modifications in the above vid are easy enough, I suppose…? I started idly looking at options and did a deep dive on the subject. I want to put these old zippos back to work. Nostalgia is all well and good but I am too scatterbrained and lazy to sit down and do needful things like Pop and Grandpa did. I also have other needful chores and priorities to take care of that didn’t exist in their day. I wondered if there is a happy medium… and there may be a couple. 

One stubfart on OyTube uses a piece of bicycle tire inner tube. It fits tightly around the zippo and effectively seals it and also makes it “water resistant” - with emphasis placed on water resistance rather than “waterproof”. Only drawback is pushing the lighter in and out of it. That fit has to be tight. I decided to keep looking and see if there are other options.

This is basically a ballastic polymer plastic that replaces the classic metal zippo case. It closes up with an O ring seal. According to the bushcrafters on OyTube this one is only water resistant too. I don’t care… I ordered one off Amazon for under 20 bucks. A lot of people don’t like them. They say the ergonomics are wrong, it lost the feel of the original zippo, blah blah blah. I get that… but my zippos are for starting fires these days. I don’t need the lightening lighter draw that Pop and Grandpa did. They’re made by a company called Thyrm, if you’re interested.

If you’re REALLY determined, and seeking the best leak-proof flint/fluid lighters… the peanut lighters seem to be the best of the bunch.

I’m gonna buy some of them too, maybe? This one’s under 25 bucks on Amazon. They seal up right tight and seem to be the most waterproof of them all. They’re small enough to squirrel away anywhere too.  There’s far more expensive, flashier versions available but they are for cooler kids than I. 

In the real world? I dunno if these are seriously required. I discovered the hard way that in my entire life of camping, fishing and hunting - that I never once had to have a knife larger than three inches long. All my bigger knives are attributable to my knife fetish. I just bought a Gerber Strongarm because I REALLY wanted a mid length fixed blade. I didn’t actually “need” it.

The same may hold true for lighters, I guess. Do you or I need anything other than cheap disposable Bic lighters? I seriously don’t know. I see bushcrafters coming down on both sides. For me… I’ve never needed anything more than a Bic. I never needed any more of a rifle than your average Enfield or Mauser milsurp beater. But I have lots of rifles too. 

It’s nice to play with all the options I guess. You do you.

The Confusion Continues

 

Yep. No chit. I’m watching this thing unfold now and don’t even want to think about it. Blumpf blew up on camera yesterday when Israel flattened some oil refineries and tank farms. “They don’t know WTF they’re doing!” He raged. I think they know EXACTLY what they’re doing, and Blumpf is realizing that he got played for a dufus by the jews. I know how he feels. A few short years ago I thought the jews were our friends and that Israel was a friend and ally. 

I dunno what to make of it. Everyone in that food fight is lying through their teeth. The monkeys on the sidelines are hooting and heckling and most of them are lying too. God damn them all, I suppose?

I don’t give a rat’s ass about the mullahs and ayatollahs - they should have been killed decades ago. Hate to say it but I don’t care about the jews either. F them too. They’re both animals. 

But I really don’t want to see Americans die in this. If there’s an off ramp on this, I really think America should take it.

A Belated Diverse And Vibrant International Women’s Day To Y’all

😂

They actually “devolve”, WW… but yes…

that is the typical behaviour pattern…

And the women that do it used to say all men are pigs…

Y’know I TOTALLY missed the usual claptrap and hogwash of black history month this year? I only saw one meme that a wank poosted. It said “Celebrate Black History Month” and had 20 thumbnail pics of black rapists, murderers, brawlers and crazies that had been in the news lately. I’da poosted it here but the  fart suckers, snot gobblers and censors are watching me like a hawk.

😂👍

 I’m looking forward to ignoring gay pride month this year as well. Say what you want - Blumpf banned those fake rainbow flags. He’s drumming the pervs out of the military. I almost stood up and saluted here in Alberta when Pete Hegseth read the riot act to the American Boy Scouts. This woke crap and the people that push it need to go away. With force and blunt implements of persuasion if necessary.

There is only one ‘woman’s day’ and that’s Mother’s Day. Anything else is just empty liberal virtue signalling or agitprop. Real people don’t need to be celebrated for being born with coloured skin or a vagina or unsavoury sexual kinks.

Filthie’s Farts N’ EntertainMINT

I think it was on Netflix…

Well I watched it. It was actually not bad. Wasn’t good either. I was half expecting a woke social justice lecture with butt blasters, fister sisters, girl bosses and magic negro heroes with 200+ IQs and eeeeeevil white men villains … but it was just your standard old fashioned action flick where “everyone gets blowed up - REAL good!”

😂👍

I don’t keep tabs on Hollywood anymore. Last I looked in they were still trying to recycle their stable of old tough guys like Arnie and Bruce and Sly. It’s impossible now. Stallone is still moving around a bit but he’s definitely a geriatric that can’t fool anyone anymore. Bruce has dementia and I *think* he’s in assisted care now… Arnie’s a fat old joke. For some reason Hollywood never put any time or thought into replacing them. Unless you count the fat, green haired slags, and various diverse and forgettable cast of emo’s and multiculti twinks. Is this kid finally an admission that they need new talent for these roles? It’s kinda sad watching the old icons get old, irrelevant and fall apart. Watching Springsteen, De Niro and the old farts shouting and ranting about stuff they clearly don’t understand anymore is embarrassing. But whadda I know? I run around in crocs.

I’ve seen this kid in a few movies now and he’s alright I guess. I think I saw him on OyTube going on about his faith too. There’s a couple of them doing that and giving the finger to the atheists, jews and pedophiles that run Hollywood. I imagine being a Christian in the Hollywood movie industry would be like trying to do that in a gay bath house. We’ll see if he survives. We’ve seen these guys crash and burn before. They get into drugs or whores…or even kids… and that’s the end of them. Big money does bad things to otherwise good people sometimes. I hope he can keep his faith and nose clean.

But I get the sense that the world is changing. Technologies are different, people are different and the stuff that used to entertain us is different too. To me it felt like a warmed over reheated predictable B movie from the 70s or 80s? 

If ya got nothin’ else to do…it might be worth watching.

Liberals Turning Kids Into Froots

Well!!! I'm just spittin' MAD!!!

I wanted some good ol' fashioned strike-anywhere matches. These fuggin things from China are just garbage and in a pinch in inclement weather... I wouldn't trust them to light a fire. I've been hemming and hawwwing and dragging my feet on the idea of making them. It isn't hard - unless you live in a pussified, twink of a country like Canada. I swear - this place is run by menopausal old women. RETARDED old women... hell's bells, there are retarded, hormonal shrieking clot headed cnuts that show more sense than our gov't. 

To make these things is simple. The procedure is all over OyTube. All ya need is the proper compound to make the match head - which you can get from the caps for kids' cap guns.

Do ya think I can buy these anywhere? Of course not! Some pastey faced pissant liberal pin heads decided these things are a safety hazard or something. I can't find them anywhere! FFS!!!! Out of idle curiosity I started looking for children's cap guns and only did a rudimentary search but they didn't come up either. I guess they want the kids to play with barbie dolls or something? 

I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's not something to get perturbed about but... sheesh. I'll just use my trusty old Bic lighters. But even they need corrective surgery for adult use. There's a stupid childproof metal tab over the flint wheel that supposedly makes them harder for kids to light. They can be a pain in the ass for adults too! I always get out the needle nosed pliers and yank the things off.

What picks my arse is that the very, very odd cigar I have - is properly lit from a match. You strike the match, let the chemicals burn off, and then gently roast and toast the tobacco until it lights. It's a ritual.

Alberta needs to separate and partner with the US or found our own damn country and be done with those fairies and fart suckers out east for this very reason alone.

Maybe it'll make those limp wrist fairy safety nazis feel 

better when I light my dynamite and molotove cocktails with a bic instead of a match....?

Now if yall excuse me... I got some clouds to go shout at! Have a great Sunday.

… Like Squishy Pants…

 

Semantic Mind Dump

 

I’m having very vivid, disorienting dreams again. I’m out hunting on the old farm, but instead of open fields, high rise apartments are all around. Old friends stroll by. Pop. Mort and Macy snuffle in some nearby bushes. I usually can’t remember my dreams on waking, but all of a sudden they don’t instantly fade away when I wake up. Last couple of nights have been like that… I’m in familiar spaces that never existed and they are as real as my subconscious can make them. 

Ferg pees the bed at night, so I get up and take him downstairs to pee him out in the middle of the night. This morning had winter on the run and the promise of spring. +2C and I stood on the back door step in my bare feet with Ferg after he did his business. I remembered my last walk with Mort out in the country. The four of us were out on a day much like this. Mort walked where his nose led him but by that time…most of his spirit was gone and what he had left wasn’t much. He didn’t come when called, and had to be lifted in and out of the truck. Sometimes he collapsed and couldn’t get up again. I helped him up, not minding at all. Dogs tell you when it’s time for them to go; they get that look in their eyes and you just know.

I stood on the porch with the shivering ankle biter in my arms and wondered if I will outlive Fergus. Or vice versa. I wondered about Mort and Macey and about people that I pruned from my life, and those that had passed on. 

And then the li’l beaner started to whine and I went inside. Hannah had stolen my place in the bed, so I threw the pup in with them and went to my easy chair to read. Instead I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. 

I’m still groggy from it… but happy.