Humpday Man Made Horrors Beyond The Imagination

Yes, I need to clean the damn floor…again.

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Problem is that now that I’m retarded retired… my feet are 

just as dirty as theirs. I spent 41 years in boots and now I am a barefoot slob

all the time in summer. I run around in sandals, tasteless Hawaiian shirts and

shorts 24/7. Don’t judge me.

I earned this.

Fergus is rocking his new tactical battle rattle. I need to

use his Molle vest to carry sidearms and hand grenades

in our endless fight against the forces of evil

and senior delinquents.

Look out world! There are new crime fighters on the scene!!!

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Missed Opportunities 

When the COVID flap first started… 24 hours in I was deeply suspicious. 48 hours later I knew it was a scam. 72 hours later I knew exactly what the scam was, and got so damned mad that I was ready to start bayoneting the retarded Karens and geriatric neurotics and morons that thought the sky was finally falling.

But that’s why being a grumpy old sot sucks! I coulda had a fricken ball with it - IF I’d had the right mindset!

Lookit that dude on the end, in the green water bottle…!!! Tell me that guy isn’t both creative and original in his thinking? That is pure weapons grade inspiration (and aspiration) going on right there! 

😂👍

Hear me out: Add an Arduino or Raspberry Pi control board, some cheap Temu LED’s and push buttons and maybe some internal OLEO displays inside the helmet. A dollar store cheap rain suit, some duct tape, and some rubber boots painted silver. Some lipo powered ducted fans and Peavy Mart garden tractor air filters to take out the ambient airborne germs and sperms and viruses… and you got a chem suit that would make Harold and Red Greene - green with jealousy! It woulda been a laff riot for people with a triple digit IQ… and a sweet virtue signal for the mentally and liberally retarded!

Gawddammitalltohell. Hindsight is always 20/20 I guess.

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The Japanese Are Notorious Anti-Semites

The Japanese Oy Demon

Speaking Of Religious Head Gear:

The first faint vestiges of fall are in the air. It’s time for the church Bible camp again, and the wife is out there being a camp counsellor and supervising the girl’s summer camp. Fergus, The Niglet and I are without adult supervision for the next week. She dragged out all her camping plunder and garbage that included stuff for arts n’ crafts and games for the little ones. In the piles, I spied this little gem:

It’s a Tilley.

Tilley hats are like Tim Hortons coffee… if yer a Canadian, ya just GOTTA have one because they’re supposedly the bestest hat there is because it’s Canukian or something. It’s an expression of Canadian patriotism dontchya know… I had one 20 years ago and gave it away because it had a retarded brim stiffener that made it look like I’d wiped my ass with it or something. It always looked mangled and silly.  Since then, they did away with that and are making real hats again…? The wife has one million hats so I pinched this one (it’s virtually new, never worn), cinched up the brim Stetson style… and I finally achieved the look of a distinguished mature Stubfart.

I think I should have my own Japanese demon. One that arrives in the night, shits the bed, and wakes up the wife and disappears… leaving the groggy wife to beat you when she finds the warm surprise under the blankets. 

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The Art Of The Steal

I try to ignore Canadian politics these days. Hell’s bells - I try to ignore fuggin Canadians too! This country would vastly improve if we could nuke Morontario and Queerbec into green glass! Those dipshits are OBSESSED with that great orange bastard - Donald Blumpf. If those a-holes have to cut off ther own noses to spite him - they’ll lobotomize and castrate themselves for good measure…! Even the conservatives are doing it!

🤬

This is Pierre Poilievre. He’s the leader of the

Canadian Conservative Party - and now he wants a piece of Blumpf too!

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The hell of it is, these idiots HAD a deal. An incredibly sweet one too! Our defence budget tab was basically picked up by Uncle Sam. We had preferential treatment at the table in trade talks. In exchange for basic courtesy and respect… we got an almost free lunch at the all-you-can-eat! We built entire industries on free access to American markets. All we had to do was keep our fucken mouths shut, and stand by our partner and ally. But when it was time to pay for that lunch - those eastern Canadian fucks screamed bloody murder when they were asked to chip in on the bill. Now the kids are living in cars and can’t afford homes and families. Our retarded geriatric seniors don’t care; they’re all ‘elbows up’ to get Blumpf. “The nerve of that bastard!!! Asking us to pay our fair share!! !” And the liberals are trying (and predictably failing) to establish new markets and alliances … with Chy-na.  How’s that going for ya, assholes?

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I dunno how many times I saw it in my career. Good, solid deals and partnerships worth potentially millions - scuttled by retards fighting over nickels and dimes. Canada is definitely in the “weak men create hard times” part of the economic cycle… and I don’t think Smol PP is going to “get a deal” either. Nor do Canadians deserve one. Maybe some soft music will restore my good humour and regularity?

This is why I don’t do Canadian Politics.

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The Pot Calling The Kettle Black

The rusty cast iron pan project seems to be a success. So far it has been through the seasoning process three times. Yennow… the in-laws have a few pieces of cast iron cookware that are close to 300 years old… and they are a deep, rich black from literally centuries of use and care. Mine isn’t there yet… but it’s serviceable I suppose? I’m going to do it two more times and see how it looks then.

That’s it for now, I guess. We are not in jail, no one has died, and I hope all is well with you and yours. Don’t forget to put the garbage out, wipe ya nose and zip your fly… and as usual - thanks for stopping in.

Cheers!

Filthie