Wednesday, February 25, 2026

FILTHICUS: Ice Warriors

 


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Hrrrmmmppffff!

The roar goes up in the Coliseum as The Big Game proceeds. Somebody goaled on someone else. Tempers flare, egos pop like Rice Krispies. Legions of stupid people celebrate the thrill of victory, or morn the agony of defeat. A big strapping, smiling kid with busted teeth and a bloody grin wraps himself in a flag and hams for the fans and cameras… not sure of my facts here, but I heard that America’s hairy chested female hockeyists took the Gold too - but they are using the occasion to shit on the evil Orange Bastard or something? For our part, I heard that our glorious, virtuous, righteous ice warriors got plushy toys and openly wept after losing?

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I dunno; I don’t care about the politics, the intrigue, and feuds behind the scenes. To me me it’s all fake and gay and I’ve got better things to do. I ain’t watching it.



Play nice, kids!

Have fun!

 
Apparently this is fun for people. I was always taught that it’s just a game. Be humble in victory, accept loss with grace. Half the people saying that will flip the board in rage if they lose a game of checkers…

As for me… I’m in serious athletic training today too! I want to try out for the Stubfart Special Olympics Rifle Team. This is real sport!  After the rifle competition we all get Gold medals, everyone is special, then we all load up on the short bus and go have supper at Chuck E Cheese! HAR HAR HAR! HAR HAR HAR!
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We’re getting a rogue chinook today so I figger it’s a great time to hit the range. If you Yanks catch a rank fetid stench on the moist warm winds billowing and blowing in from the North… that’ll be me stinking out the firing line with my atrophied marksmanship and gas.

The practice will hopefully manifest itself either at the Stubfart Olympics … or out in the streets when this idiot country tears itself apart and descends into some kind retarded civil war. Let’s stay loose, and keep our feuds and sports separate, eh? On behalf of the future 51st State of Alberta … I’d like to congratulate the Americans on their wins - and apologize for these sore losers in Canada. 
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5 comments:

  1. Yeah, the bloody mouth kid, took a hockey stick to the teeth. Looks like he couldn't be happier. I could use some of that attitude.
    On chooting, I'm so rusty, I'll have to start with a 22. Can't afford center fire, until I'm sure I can keep 'em on the paper.
    Too much lazy bench shooting. HEY, a 7 pound rifle is REALLY HEAVY!
    Congratulations on pursuing the manly sport of chooting. I'll have to start chooting off my hind legs.

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  2. Y'all are just mad because your jeets didn't get to jump around in the locker room celebration like our jeet did.
    My heart swelled with pride as our wall eyed token danced around like a Kansas City faggot. (hat tip to Slim Pickens PBUH)

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  3. For some reason, hockey has always been the one Big Sport that I can actively enjoy rather than (at best) put up with. Doubly odd for a man from the American South, but don't ask me to explain why; have yet to figure that one out myself!

    As a young 'Nut watching part of an Olympic game between the US and another country I can't recall, I remember being struck by the respect and professionalism of that game compared to one in the NHL. Cleaner play, fewer big hits, and certainly no fights. No real grandstanding prior or following, and even getting bested had an air of "Well, we did what we could" rather than bitter vitriol.
    Of course, I'm probably wired all kinds of wrong and never have seen the point of getting so invested in a sport that you, the observer in the stands, are given cause to get Hyper Turbo Deluxe Big Mad over the outcome.
    Between that outlook and my teeth not being 300% messed up, I would've made a terrible football rioter.

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  4. Moshe Trumpstein (MIGA) says China will ban ice hockey.
    Nothing will ever happen to bread and circuses.
    They know the lumpen proles might actually do something then.

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  5. Canada lost. USA won.... oh well. Get over it and get on with your day.

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