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Because some stupid old stubfart saw them, lost control
of himself - and gobbled the bloody lot!!!
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I’m hurting. I figured I’d just gobble a little bit during the holidays… but I can’t stop! My metabolism has changed too. If I push Ivan’s stick to green feeds - I’m not kidding, either: almost no fats, a tiny bit of protein (200g/day)… getting my carbs from veggies… I stall out around 200 lbs. That’s still 15 lbs over where I want to be.
Soon I’ll be back to my old self. No need for a Kill-Dozer - I could beer belly bop that thing into the middle of next week! All I need to do is dress up in armour plate and waddle through town, crushing my enemies beneath me…
I gotta get back on the wagon… FML…š¤¬
only 1 way to lose weight. Eat less .
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I'm 6 two at 215 elbows and 13% body fat! Unless you're an midget you are well on the way to hit the target set! Don't give up, and get yourself an weight vest! Chubby (sarc)!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo
Habanero & Codliver Oil Salad, Sauerkraut, Brussels Sprouts grilled with Gorgonzola, Hardboiled eggs in Peanut Sauce with Anchovies and Capers, and a grape for dessert. I'll have that 15lbs off you and then some. Your newest canine will have a steep learning curve to emulate his master. You've never been that fast, upright or sitting.
ReplyDeleteStefan v.
Jesus Christ - I'd need to hire a new plumber cause I'd blow out all three toilets on that diet. I'd also be single. And the paint on the house would definitely start peeling.
DeleteCDC would be at your door like the giant tent house intervention in the movie "ET", which would then swell up like a Zeppelin and burst. Migratory birds would avoid your county for many decades. Tree rings would document The Calamity, by not growing anymore. Astronauts on the ISS would photograph the enormous brown stain on the atmosphere, and delay return until sure it is safe to land on some other continent upwind. Salmon would give up swimming upstream and just stay in the ocean. All the other fish would join them. DuPont, Draeger, Scott and 3M would go bankrupt trying to develop new filters and breathing sets for this noxious stench. Airbreathing organisms would rapidly switch to a chlorine and hydrogen sulfide based mixture for relief. Charmin would develop a forty eight ply teflon coated kevlar toilet tissue with liquid nitrogen cooling.
DeleteGood luck fellow fattie.
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