Tiny’s problem is obvious - he’s packing up! I’d recommend a 42 oz Orange Metamucil highball, a roll of 3 ply toilet tissue, and an hour and a harf in the oothoose with a good book - I’d take one of those horrible female gooner novels for a good laugh because that never hurts anyone neither.
😆👍
It’s probly all that shit he ate on the cruise ship last weekend. Or maybe he got a bug from the parboiled nogs in the hot tub? It could be anything or nothing. All dinkishness and asshattery aside… I hope it’s nothing serious. To be truthful, I’m in the same boat actually. Now that I eat mostly twigs and leaves I’m lucky if I shit once every three or four days.
But it’s absolutely crucial that we’re all on the same page on this business, fellas. Harrrumpffff! Pay attention:
Hmpfffff! I’m not impressed to tell the truth. I dare say I could easily beat that after a plate of fried Spam, pickled eggs, Brussels sprouts n beans! But we all know the drill: talk is cheap, produce pictures - or it didn’t happen! If you suspect you have a world record - DON’T FLUSH. Take a picture, and if you have an angler’s fish scale - get a weight if possible and record that too. Send me the pic, and I’ll make arrangements for our official scorers to come out and properly docuMINT your achievement. Cederq and The Village Hemorrhoid are medical experts specifically trained to handle these things. And - It’s just like Pope And Young or Boone And Crockett: the initial brown score will be higher than the final dry score as the specimen ages and moisture is driven off.
Ughhhh. I’ve been a good boy and I’m doing well on the bathroom scale. Think I’m gonna have some steak n eggs this morn. Chow down guys - and have a great day.
Proof the museum has lost their minds. Collecting poop to display proudly is not what they were designed to do-do...
ReplyDeleteI truly wonder how much money those guys flush down the toilet…?
DeleteThat turdue is fuck all compared to what I witnessed in my drunken youth. After an all night piss up, where the last drops of Cherry consumed and the hang over to end hang overs throbbed in what remained of our brains, my buddy came out of the bathroom with shock and dismay! We surrounded the bowl and watched in disgust as an Nerf Football sized pure black shit circled round and round, smearing the porcelain, refusing to go peacefully flush after flush. It became apparent that we'd have to sacrifice the Hash knives and cut up the monstrosity into manageable pieces if it was ever to disappear into the vortex!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo
🤮
DeleteYup. I remember when Stu The Jew did it and the boys used a coat hanger … 😆👍
Do we have to field dress it before we weigh it?
ReplyDeleteRANT/
ReplyDeleteSounds like YouBewb suggests similar things to our feeds Filthie. I had to laugh at that whole "Monster Milking Farm" genre from ShoeOnHead. Our young females are off their leash in current year. A long time friend (I swear this is NOT ME) wasn't getting intimacy from his peri-menopausal wife (shocked, never happened in all of recorded time before), and he's now a happy customer of OF. (I'm too cheap to pay for porn or other "services").
What utterly shocked me is that many of these females will ahem, provide full "service" to their dog live on camera. Shamelessly, openly, thinking it's edgy & OK. Fortunately - everything on the internet lives forever.
THAT is where I reckon this "Monster Milking" new genre thing is coming from.
The lesson is that if you want to retire rich, write the most depraved, disgusting thing you can barely imagine, target it to 18 to 25 year old, empowered females and hang on for the ride ! 50 Shades, Twilight, etc, etc, etc.
Women make approx 85 % of the buying decisions - look at ANY ads these days - all fathers and males are utterly useless and STUPID, and all situations are readily handled perfectly by the nearest interchangeable female. They wouldn't advertise this way if it didn't work. When I was a selling boats for a living, I would always "Pitch-to-the-Bitch". SHE was the ultimate decision maker - even if she used it once per year - if she wasn't happy, you were wasting your time. Even new car ads for 4WDs now have the female driving and the man in the passenger seat.
/RANT
Yep. Agreed… and this is nothing. Now these kids that are doing all this stuff are having kids of their own. I think the fuse has been lit and it’s just a matter of time now…
DeleteYeah, I can say that I beat that one too, Glen. This being said, that Viking surely did give birth to a hemorrhoid rooter! I bet his "battle cry" was heard in Valhalla! The Valkyries showed up, saw that thing, and said "NOFUGGINWAY!!! You are NOT gonna be feasting in the Great Hall!!"
ReplyDeleteHe will spend eternity in the Outhouse Of The Gods - i Queerbec! 😆👍
DeleteDon't Be modest, Filthie. It's one of yours, ain't it?
ReplyDeleteSpare Droid
That's nothing. At one period in the Army, I ate nothing but MREs for months. The only ones I could eat were the ham slice and the frankfurters. Whose brilliant idea was it to include peanut butter with the frankfurters instead of cheese?
ReplyDeleteA Govt, committee with connections, of course.
DeleteI ate MRE's back in '83-'84, (1st gen?) during annual training, in the Cal. Army Guard. You don't shit for a week while eating them, a week later you shit and it's a JOB!
All bs aside, Filthie called Cederq and I about the one pictured and swore he had a winning specimen. Cederq lives closer so he told he he went over to spec it out and he said Filthie's specimen had a good 35 grams on the specimen in the photo and was just as long but had a much, much, larger girth.
ReplyDeleteAnother useless poo face street shitter in a position of power …
ReplyDeleteF’ Kashyip
https://www.thebulwark.com/p/kash-patel-girlfriend-alexis-wilkins-driving-maga-nuts
He belongs behind the counter of AM PM or 7-11