One of the mistakes of my life has been that I have largely dismissed psychology and psychiatry as quack science. Couple days ago I poosted up a vid of some deranged lunatic spouting outhouse spirituality - whose primary message was: "You're a lunatic, but that's okay because you live on a different plane of existence! Your erratic behavior and emotional failures aren't your fault - it's the world's fault!!!!" And her comments section filled up with adoring water spirits, UFO's, sexual degenerates all singing her praises for her clarity of thought. I was so disgusted I couldn’t even be bothered to troll them or poop in the comments.
I dunno if this guy’s any better? He makes some of the right noises…but are they “right”?
I am not, and have never been the selfless Cinderella Fella that always put everyone else first. Sure, I was sometimes, but I did my best to avoid it. The second someone started treating me like an asset to be used and abused I learned that it was probably best to just end the relationship as quickly and cleanly as possible. If I was treated like a liability it was over that instant. The only exception was my family. But things finally got so abrasive and so heated that I went nuclear with them too. This guy thinks (correctly) that communication can iron out most problems. My problem was that my family members that I had friction with - stopped listening. They have “their truth” and if I didn’t agree with it - I was a bad person. When you can’t talk to someone, and all they spew is nonsense and feelings and it’s driving you up the wall? GAH. I took the nuclear option when the time came. It’s not for everyone. If you’re talking…keep trying to patch things up and work something out, maybe? If they turn you off and treat you with contempt - maybe you should just walk, with as little drama as possible. That’s my two bits, anyway. Unlike Doctor Cranium here… I was blessed with a great wife, so I got off easy. I was incredibly lucky. She was in the same boat, her family didn’t listen to her either.
50 is a rough time for many men. Men are conditioned not to listen to their hearts but when you hit 50 or thereabouts… I dunno? The human heart wants what it wants, and for many men… bullshit, pandemonium, drama and mayhem are not on the list. And Dr. Cranium hits the nail right on the head when he says wanting to be done with it is normal. I don’t have any answers, you do you as they say - and the best of luck to ya.
Back in the Dream Times this was called an midlife crisis!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo
Ya think, Chutes? I dunno - back when that term was first being used when I was a kid… Pop would deal with it by going out and buying a sports car or motorcycle. Maybe a fishin boat or he’d go on a trip… today he seems to drop out and become the family door mat, or he goes nuclear and disappears. Calling it a crisis back then was a bit of a joke… nowadays it actually is a joke!
DeleteI'm feeling it at 47. It's crazy. Hope to inherit my parents cottage and live there. Maybe give the house to the kids because they can't afford **** all. It's crazy out there.
ReplyDeleteNo chit… and it’s going to get worse yet, I think…
DeleteDamn.. I don't know how to react to this.... I was having those thoughts hourly, by age 19. Within a few years (of preparatory research), I had begun years of travel by backpack.
ReplyDeleteYeah me too! I would have done the same but I loved my family and couldn’t leave. When I hit my 50s and the family was going woke… I’d just had enough and couldn’t take anymore. If my wife had divorced me I’d have done something similar ….
DeleteIf there was a true frontier left in the world, I would have packed up and left many years ago. You know, an edge of the world with no government and few rules. Now... too old. Just trying to be happy in my little place just outside the city limits.
ReplyDeleteUntil it’s time to pick up a rifle… that’s all you can do…
DeleteThere was, for me... I think there still is, but it's sketchy:
DeleteYou have to walk deep into the bush, alone, without telling anyone, and ... here's the hard part... don't die.
(you have no small research just locating and *getting* to said bush these days)
That's what took two years of prep work.
When I was 53, 2004, we got out of tree service and into real estate appraisal (work smarter not harder). Lots of friendly associates and enough true friends. Made good money without insane overhead. The wife was vital for taking care of business that I wasn't wired for. We're a good team.
ReplyDeleteNow, with not enough $ and helping to take care of 2 semi invalid wymens, wife and mom in law, I'm definitely in that fantasy boat. 2007-8-9 was disastrous for us, housing market collapse, banking collapse, stock market crash while living in So. Cal. We had to sell off most everything, trying to keep up.
If I have resentments, I've stuffed them into a compartmentalized hole and keep it shut, no need pining over unobtainium. I can "check out" with great old music from the glory days of past. I'm blessed that my life is as good as it is, especially considering how the wheels seem to be falling off of so many other's lives.
I'm blessed that my long suffering wife, that has constant, frequently, debilitating back pain, can somehow, be of good cheer and a pleasant companion. I've experienced a lot of hard knocks, (breaking my back and sheeeit in '95 was a biggie) so I know pain, but if I had Sherry's load of pain, for as bad and as long, I'm sure I would have self ejected this plane of existence, long ago (she's stronger than me, some ways). But we took vows, LONG ago, so we keep on keepen on. That's what we do.
At 74, I'm on the work till I die retirement program. No reGERTS!! Since I live in paradise, I'll keep my bitching and moaning to non existent (with the family, not you), until, like Glen, I need to pick up a rifle and defend the homestead, I MIGHT bitch about that, briefly. Then, my reward will be on the other side.
After rereading all that bull shit, Life is actually great!