I, Glen Filthie:
Solemnly swear that never again will I eat
another goyslop pizza made by Pizza 73, Little Ceasar’s or any
of the other sinful slider slinging suspects.
Henceforth any pizza I eat will be made by craftsmen/craftswomen - skilled
in the culinary arts, and blessed by the pizza gods themselves.
I shall be known by my virtuous toppings that shall include pineapple,
onions, peppers, bacon and so forth.
I shall raise my rifle against those that would mock the holy ingredients.
Amen.
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