Filthie’s Authentic Japanese Cuisine

I recently spied my hero and role model - Larry The Cable Guy (does anyone even do cable TV anymore?) - and he got a job at a Japanese restaurant and got fired for making hot dawgs instead of disgusting dishes of tentacles and sea food.

So I decided to try and channel my inner clipper and take a shot at “oh no giri”. Ya get some sticky rice and plop it down, make a crater in the middle and fill it with stewage or tuna salad or what have you. In this case the wife had made a really thick soup that ate like a stew so I used that.

Then ya put a layer of sticky rice over it, shape it into a triangle and wrap it in sea weed. I failed Basic Shapes at Retard School…but they are kinda sorta triangle shaped…

They were alright I guess. When I watch the clippers on OyTube eatin them they all flip out like they’re the best thing since sliced bread. The secret to ‘em is ya gotta use Japanese rice. The kernels of rice are different from regular rice - Theyre rounder and fatter. I might make them again…? Not sure…I think I’d rather do Texmex if I’m cooking for myself. 

But then again I won’t be working in a high end 5 star Japanese restaurant either. Maybe I’d have done better if I’d had some talent and adult supervision.