I love this Gen X father. I used to spin up my Dad the same way. It was fun up to a point but if you pissed him off - the consequences could be dire. Badonkadonk was something you'd NEVER discuss with the menfolk of my family. But if ya said something like... oh, I dunno... "Ford builds the best trucks on the planet.."... why, he'd spin right up and chimp out in RAGE. It was a total laff riot - IF you survived. I got lots of extra hours of chores because of my ropey mouth and retarded sense of humour.
As dad slowly becomes a cherished memory, I am reminded about the foolish ways the men in my family found to say, "I love you."
It is good to see that kids still live dangerously and enjoy some good natured sport as well.
That boy is gonna to be consumed... Even before is marriage bed consummation. The old bearded guy is right, honor, obey, til death do us part. It ain't even after the romp in the hay, it is right after she signs the marriage (you, the man are shackled) license.
ReplyDeleteIt's Turkey Day at the old homestead, and we have Grandpa Parsimonious, Uncle Sardonicus and his wife, Auntie Annie Fanny, (she HATES that name by the way) we've got Mad Jack's parental units, Big Daddy Martini and Mamma Sureshot. We got Shotgun Bob, Big Mike, and Main Lady with her three little darlings, AND we have the wicked witch of the west. And a host of others.
ReplyDeleteSo, well into the second martini someone would mention what a lousy job the Democrats were doing running the country, and that was enough to get Uncle Sardonicus started up. Now, mind you, about half of these arguments consisted of "You couldn't find your ass with both hands" to "You whistle when you shit so you'll know which end to wipe". Can't pick your family, right?
The other half tended to hold water (or gin, as the case may be), and Unc would go nuts trying to argue economics with an econ major. Unc has yet to come to grips with supply and demand. Eventually Grandpa would speak up and shut Unc down, mainly because he knew how things worked. You see, Gramps was, at that time, able to walk through Washington D.C. and tell you who was on the take and what you could get from them. When that little mix-up we had with old Tricky Dick and the Watergate Hotel hit the airwaves, Gramps watched the proceedings and he knew some of those people.
The dinner was served and that was pretty much that, until one year Unc helped himself to another drink or two and Auntie Annie Fanny told him it was either her or the booze - he couldn't have both. They're still married, so...
Most of these people are dead and gone now, but I miss those dinners.
That kid's lucky.
ReplyDelete"every day of my life" ...
ReplyDeleteThat says it all right there.