Dear Filthie,
First the fuck of all - I formally apologize for all the rotten things I’ve said about you and take it all back. Years of living in the faggotified environs of California has turned me into a chicken head, prone to panic, emotional hissy fits and other displays of unsavoury character.
I have decided to marry and settle down - with a woman this time. I’m seeking a strong, independent woman with an agrarian/rural background. Can you set me up?
Truly yours,
General Aesop
Wolverines
?
Haaaaarrrrrumppppffpfpfpf!
Well I’ll be damned! Apology accepted, General! Now let’s get down to business! Fact is - I’ve always got my ear to the ground to keep tabs on the booming mail-order bride business! This obviously Ukranian lass is looking for a man with no self respect or redeeming qualities whatsoever!
Our girl has taken the time to prepare an introductory video that will surely meet your approval!
If you want to take your match query to the next level - let me know in the comments!
If there’s anyone else looking to elevate themselves with an arranged, cruel and heartless power marriage - you know who to go to!
😉👍
Cheers!
Filthie
There is something seriously wrong with you. I approve.
ReplyDeleteFitty
Exactly what a fed would say, Fitty!!!
Delete😂👍
I'd hang out with her. She can probably kick my ass at pool. Might drink me under the table and could damn sure teach me about chickens. I enjoy the company of people who know more than I do about things. Well, unless they are smug,self righteous and self important assholes. Then they can just fukkRightOff..
ReplyDeleteNot much to know about chickens… feed and water ‘em, don’t get too many packed too close together…
DeleteI'LL TAKE HER! I just gotta talk the ol' lady into it.
ReplyDeleteCan I come over and watch when you do that, Mike? 😂
DeletePretty sure she's an ozzy not a uke.
ReplyDeleteCoworker got himself a uke mail order bride, a month after the wedding he started getting sick. Lingered for 5 years with what the docs said was a neuro degenerative condition. Pretty sure it was heavy metal poisoning.
Exile1981
Buyer beware…
DeleteHard pass. They're all crazy at the end of the day. I don't care how good a woman is in the sack, I prefer to keep my money and my sanity.
ReplyDeleteWell that one sure as hell is. That ring through the nose is a tip off…
DeleteI have decided to marry and settle down - with a woman this time.
ReplyDeleteHa!
Ha!Ha!
Ha!Ha!Ha!
I love it. The General Mess will likely blow a blood vessel and offer to meet you after school - or something.
Is that a "Push-to-Start" button on her upper lip?
ReplyDelete