Wednesday, February 14, 2024

A Valentinian Shit Poast Epistle

 


I remember being accused and condemned by womenfolk
calling me immature and childish…

Ugh.

Bout a year back I took my niglet pup over to crazy Mary’s to get her shots. Mary had two friends over while we were there. I was caught totally by surprise. Within 5 minutes I knew her girl friends were divorced from extremely shitty husbands. I knew they were all on antidepressants to ward off the fiendish oppression of a world that delighted in destroying women. They both had cats. (Mary had dogs). And they were both desperately lost and lonely. They looked at me - 59 year old FOWG (Fat Old White Guy)…like I was fresh meat. They were flirty and dippy. It creeped me the hell out and left as soon as politely possible…

A very small part of me wanted to tell the women that they were stereotypes that guys like me laugh at. The world is filled with women exactly like them. They are boring in their predictability, and I have seen it all from a very safe distance. They’re on psychotropic drugs. They have cats. Their “chit head ex’s” are all mostly just normal goofs that got sandbagged by a surprise divorce and their biggest sin is being happier without their  former wives. The rude jokes write themselves… but these women have never heard any of them. To them, they lived in a world that has gone seriously wrong and they were legitimate tragic victims. I think they’d be astonished by the memes and jokes. It’s a matter of relativity - they’re trapped inside a narrative and reality that has no connection to the real world…

Like most men, I’ve studied women all my life. I’ve compared notes with scholars, stubfarts and idiots doing the same thing… and after all these years I think I have the rudimentary beginnings of an out house theory… In the world of women, things just happen of their own accord. Murky forces move in the shadows to bring about tragedy and sorrow. Good things are matters of luck and chance. For all their intuition, stunning leaps of logic and insight… elementary critical thought is often beyond them.

And for us fellas, we assume EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Countless men have gone to the gallows for just being there when unpredictable shit happens. “It happened on your shift, fella, and you’ll bloody well own it and answer for it!” The men will willingly accept their fate too. Some will handle it way better than others. But sometimes… shit just happens.

I almost gotta admire female coping skills with deep seated resentment. What kind of words float invisibly above my head? What is that straw that breaks the female camel’s back?

We may well never know. The answer will not be written by angels on the wall, but may well lie written and buried under nasty cigar-like deposits, urine, kitty litter and estrogen powered fury.





7 comments:

  1. The old lady divorced me for reasons known only to her. Last time we laid eyes on each other, she looked at me like I was sitting there with my dick in my hand.

    But that's not what other ladies do. I have the same interaction you had with those ladies all the time. Women smile at me, talk. I go on dates with them, at one point 1-2 a week. They are literally everywhere.

    Divorced/single/widowed women 45-65 is a huge demographic around here, so it's a buyer's market. If they were capable of abstract thought and some awareness, they'd see that and try to fix their relationships.

    Heh...They don't and won't.

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    1. That’s the thing that blows me away TD… there’s no need for any of their misery… it’s all self inflicted, it’s so easy to fix… but they deliberately choose to be awful and miserable…

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  2. I love the cat box idea!!! Immature and childish, nothing wrong with it. Better than an ole battle-axe with one foot in the grave.

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    1. I’m torn about it. One one hand it’s funny as you say… but on the other…is it indicative of a rage and fury that might be unhealthy? The kind that needs to be dealt with and dispersed? Something like this would only stoke it… but maybe women handle that differently too?

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    2. Maybe this would just be posted to your social media page that your ex isn't a part of and your friends would all give you the thumbs up emoji because they get it. A little humor for yourself perhaps. Now if you need to share that post with your ex, there may be some underlying issues, unless you were able to remain friends after the break-up at which point, she may find it funny.

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  3. When Main Lady took off, I couldn't tell if she was drying her nails or waving goodbye. Even Migraine One said it was a shitty thing to do - but then Migraine One was neurotic with psychotic episodes and a drinking problem. That, combined with pain meds for her fibromyalgia (spelled it the first time!) made her a much more pleasant lady.

    My primary care physician told me that his old lady took off the same way. Not a word, nothing at all. Didn't even want visitation rights with the dog, which the doc kept, and good for him.

    I suppose if I lost weight, I could go out and start tearing it up just like the old days. But then, just like the old days, I'd get involved with a neurotic little twist and end up on the front page of that paper before it goes into the cat box, or the bottom of the bird cage.

    The good ones are married and plan to stay that way, or single and not looking. Me, I'm content to remain single.

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    1. In your boat I’d do the exact same, Jack. Life with crazies is complicated and I just can’t handle folks like that anymore. I’d rather live in a van down by the river…

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