This poast is so heinous… so awful… and graphic… I HAVE to bury it under the fold! I know guys with weak stomachs and constitutions like Mike, Cederq and Bear Claw - why, they’d keel right over dead if they saw real horror and senseless crime like this!
Pearl clutchers, snivellers, and especially bed wetters are strongly advised - do not proceed beyond this point.
The Mysterious Case Of The Fence Pooper
I know Fergus.
It’s horrible, and one so young and innocent
as you shouldn’t have to see such horrors…
😢
🤮
It just HAS to be one a you guys! You senior delinquents are in for it now! Captain Filthie and his K9 Assault Team are on the case! You can either come forward and take your punishment like a man - or we can hunt you down … and we WON’T go easy on ya!!! Choose wisely.
💀
Already the clues are coming to light!
****
The Filthie Beardo
All my life I wanted to grow a beard. But it never happened. I had to be meeting folks and giving presentations, and I had to be able to wear a Scott Pack and I’ve spent my life relatively clean shaven. But now that I’m retarded retired I figgered ‘why not?’ And I just started letting it grow out. Ordinarily I’d be the first to admit it looks awful and get rid of it … but my Mom saw it and hated it so… I guess it stays for now.
Which of the following beardoes should be taken out and shot?
A. Filthie
B. Uncle Karl
C. Uncle Ted
D. All of the above
****
Filthie’s Footwear Finalized
Welp… the Great Temu Fucken Footwear Fiasco is drawing to a close. I’m fricken crippled after a few miles in cheap bargain basement footwear. I’m running on BioFreeze ointment and Tylenol now. Gawd old age blows, eh? But we still got our miles in. The cell phone says we got in a little over 5 miles today and well maybe get another one in before the day ends. But lord…my back, bum and left upper leg are just on fire right now! I shoulda taken those Temo shoes right off, thrown them in the bush - and gone barefoot!
Ever hear of “Hoka”???
I went on the innernet and learnt that Hoka shoes are probly one of the best walking shoes out there. I went to the store and they were all that and a bag of chips too! They set me back a little over $200.00 but gawd… best 200 beans I ever spent! As an added bonus - they’re not Nikes (up your ass, Colon Kaepernick) or Adidas (no, I’m NOT a rapist, Mx. Adida, and you can shove your runners up your ass along with your liberal political virtue signalling too!)
😊👍
I decided to get my Redwing moc toe boots re-soled and that’s $200.00 too… but I’m getting some super soft Vibram soles on them.
I don’t get it. All my life I’ve been in boots with hard soles and no real insoles and they rode hard as nails… and I wore them all day with no problem. But now I’m old and fussy and a badly fit pair of shoes just about kills me. .. Oh well… my rotten dawgs don’t give a hoot! They’re giving me the stink eye and want another walk. It just goes to show there’s no rest or reprieve for the wicked…
😞
It’s gotta be coming up on home time for you working men, eh? I hope you have a great weekend lined up! This weekend I’m at the range camping over night with the pups. Stay outta trouble, youse guys… and leave the poop where it lies!
Cheers!
Filthie
Shot?
ReplyDeleteWell, since Uncle Karl and Uncle Ted are already dead, that only leaves ...
Do what ya gotta do, UO! 😊👍
DeleteUncle Karl. The rest are legends.
ReplyDeleteI think those fence nuggets were left by Cederq’s cat. His stub was aching and he has trouble bending over so he just hobbled off hoping that your dogs would either roll in it or feast on them.
Cats will do stuff like that. Pop’s barn cat used to shit on his tractor seat and on the seat of my motorcycle. But those nuggets were too big for a domestic cat bastard.
DeleteWho knows how big it was when it came out too? Once I dropped a loaf bigger than a football out on the farm. I was quite proud of it and when I went back a couple days later to show it to my girlfriend… it dried right out and shrank by at least 50%. All the cat turds I ever saw were like skinny cigars…
I lucked out on the feet, I can wear shit shoes, as long as I have the right insoles and I've got a medium size box of 'em to choose from.
ReplyDeleteYer beards nearing epic.
I wasn't in on the poop caper. I believe in letting things lie. Anybody wanna play with it? have at it, I'm THAT tolerant.
You’ll be off the suspect list when I say your off, mister!!! For now…ALL OF YOU are under suspicion!!! I’ll be watching you all very carefully…😡
DeleteActually a pretty good beard Mr. F. Nice and grey.
ReplyDeleteI have had excellent luck with the zero lift shoes - no heel lift in them and a large toe box. My back injuries don't plague me anymore and my feet and legs love them.
Phil K
I’ll have to look them up Phil…
DeleteI'm in the same boat as you on the shoes. Wore boots my whole life, now at almost 63 can't wear them anymore. I have worn out two pair of Brooks, hate the colors, might try the Hoka's. Don
ReplyDeleteI’d give them a look Don. ASICS might be my second choice. Ya gotta try them all in the store before ya buy…
DeleteI am putting in the miles, two or three a day so nothing like your marathons. Orthfeet is the best walking shoe I have found, the are almost as sexy as your crocs but, hey pretty is as pretty does.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that isn’t you getting your turds in a row.
Fitty
My turds are epic compared to those, Fitty. I will poast pics to prove it especially for you! 😊👍
DeleteAs we get older, our feet spread out as the muscles relax. In some instances, they grow too. I have gone from a size 11 at 40 to size 13 at 65. It's one of the smaller problems to aging, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteSome would call that a righteous beard. I used to have one. Radiation therapy thinned it out.
ReplyDeleteZero drop is what I use.
ReplyDeleteHookas are like walking on stilts, and they make you look like clown shues!
That beard is epic man!
My late Chesapeake usta poop in various shrubbery to allow the scent to travel farther, watching him get his anus up as high as physically possible was an sight to behold.
Chutes Magoo
My King Shepherd dropped a steamer so huge, I took a pic and txt to my sister in law! Placed my size 12 red wing next to it for scale. Shed a tear when it came time to clean yard. Would have tossed over fence but not want somebody's pickup to high-center on it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it was the neighbor across the street who would walk his dawgs and leave it too. Others seemed to have the Christmas spirit and fling the bags of poo into the bushes to resemble their own little Tanenbaum. Beautiful little translucent blue bags of shite hanging from the limbs. When I'm in charge I'll shove them head first into a barrel, fill it to the top with dog turds and hammer the lid on.
ReplyDeleteThe enshitification of quality shoes continues. I used nothing but Brooks Beasts for decades. They are terrible and extremely over-priced now.
ReplyDeleteWhile walking the Camino Frances I wore quality boots - but noticed most people wore either Hokas or Altras - and - unless they were very slim - typically replaced them before they were 1/2 way (ie after only 200 - 250 miles).
My daily walk is approx 6km, and I do the occasional 5km Park Run on a Saturday. Currently using "Bondi 9s" & Altra "Flow Vias 2". They are both uber-comfortable at first - but neither are built to last. The soles are wearing out quickly. The other factor is I am now officially a fat-bastard at 120kg, which probably doesnt help their longevity. I run like a Clydesdale, but at least I can still run a bit. Your mileage may vary but it will be interesting to see how long your Hokas hold up.
After he retired, my late father needed something to do so he used to collect up all the dog turds left by the neighbor's pups and when he had "enough" would wait until they left for the day and distribute the nuggets on their front porch. Eventually they figured out who was returning their property, and words were exchanged between mother and the thirty-something neighbor wife and later that evening, the thirty-something neighbor husband stomped across the street and tried to exchange words with Dad who was pushing 80 at the time but did not get very far into the exchange before yip-yip-yipping his scalded yuppie ass back across the street after which the appearance of dog poop in Dad's yard ended abruptly.
ReplyDeleteI asked Dad if he wanted me to handle that asshole inasmuch as he was a lot closer to my age, but Dad just smiled and said "No" after which my chief concern was how was I gonna pull that old bastid off yuppie husband without getting my own ass whupped too, but it did not come to that. Unfortunately.
Anyway, Filthie, that's how you put a stop to that shit. Literally.