The Reclusium Retard Epistles

Herein lie the scholarly thoughts and assembled tomes of the great and powerful scholars of the old world. The following paragraphs, verses, annd epistles are for adults only. Specifically, only Chuds, Wanks, Stubfarts, Incels and Retards may enter, and only with the permission of the Odiferous Oracle Of Ontography. They are expressly NOT for children, the deluded, the perverted or the profane, puppies or kittens.

Viewer discretion is mandatory.

Summer is here in Aaaaaaaaaaaadmontin.. To escape the heat - Mr. Filthie escapes to his underground lair. Below the dungeons, below the ancient sewer pipes, down in the bowels of the living earth … lies the ancient Reclusium. It is here in this deep, dank, unplumbed profundity where the laws of physics, gravity, and science do not apply, and are frequently disobeyed with flagrant impunity. But…! Where is Old Man Filthie in this subterranean chamber of horror? Harken, Gentle Vistor!  Muffled curses and scuffling sounds emanate from under yon work bench. We have found the Old Man - where he … he… ? He prepares for his latest epistle!

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Oink…. Grunt….Be right with ya guys!

Gasp! Ooop….😱💨 Why…excuse me!

Oh! Lookit! So that’s where my old duck call went! 

*sounds of another long, billowing, blatting cabbage fart*

Still works too! Why…. I’ll bet if there were any mallards or canvas backs around, they’d be fighting to come in close and present themselves to our 12 and 16 bores for some excellent wing shooting! But…errrr….why am I underneath the workbench, again? I’ve forgotten what I’m down here for…oh! Oh yes! I’m gonna check a high tech peripheral display down here that shows if I’m ready to poast or not! Lemme see if I can screenshot this…

Yep! Filthie is GO! forMain engine START!!!

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Sorry about that fellas. Sometimes a man just has to take care of needful things. But come! Sit! Make ya selves comfortable, coffee’s in the jerry can, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em! Today, we celebrate!

Anyone else getting that feeling we’re at the wrong

party…?

June is a confusing time of year, isn’t it? I seriously have no idea what in hell we’re supposed to be celebrating! All I know is that that were supposed to be celebrating something… Happy Veteran’s Month, everybody? Last week blacks and browns got celebrated… good and hard! The memes tell the story…

Stupid people turn up in stupid places, win stupid prizes; politicos make stupid noises and more stupid fights break out. Y’know…I used to keep score and shake my fist and poop my pants with rage when this shite broke out but now I just shrug. Maybe if enough lefties get decapitated trying to help migrants…? Maybe they’ll stop bringing them into their neighborhoods. Maybe if enough black youths knife white kids and piss on their graves…Whitey will do something about it? I saw in Belfast, 3 white women in the leadership all decried the vids going viral that showed migrants involved in monkeyshines. “Diversity is our strength,” they clucked.

😑

Whatever, I guess? The only peaceful way forward that I see is black and brown criminals go to jail. If they’re not ours… they go home. 

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In other news … Fwance burned again in June. The Usual suspects figured prominently in that one too. Apparently the arson, looting, assaults and rioting was over a soccer game. And the Usual politicians dealt with it as they always do.

Oh! Now I remember what we’re supposed to be celebrating in June!!! 

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On the bench freezer today, we have King Peter’s hunting rifle for this year.

A Cooper bolt gun in 6.5x.284…

In Retard Arts N’ Crafts, I’ve started making DIY rifle slings. I went on OyTube and learnt myself on the ways of webbing and being a simple soul with idle hands… I enjoyed it. The slings are fast, simple and cheap and they WORK. I made a few for me… and the other wanks at the club saw them and started asking for them. I got another two to make for Pete. I improvised a super simple webbing belt for my pants using a cheapo Cobra buckle off Amazon and all the guys want those now too. When you’re about to crap your drawers or pish your carhartts… quick release buckles are a great idea, HAR HAR HAR!!!

😂👍

I’ll trim those sling straps up and make it look nice n’ purdy. But… I really gotta wonder about that rifle. It’s a high end rifle and I’ve shot it. I printed a tad over 3/4 MOA with Pete’s hand loads. The quality, fit and finish are first rate. It’s nothing great to look at but when you pick it it up and handle it…you KNOW you’re handling a high end gun. But gawd… this thing is heavy. And big. 

Bout ten or twelve years ago I talked myself out of a new No.1 in 6.5x284. I’m kicking myself now, I’ll tell ya. But I need another rifle like I need a hole in the head. The No.1 would have been a spectacular alternate to the Cooper. The Cooper is an understated, elegant rifle and I told Pete that he needs a beater Tupperware rifle like I have. He’s a Euro so I recommended a Tikka … and now he has one in 7mm Brenneke. It’s a sweet but ugly rifle… and now I gotta make a sling for that too…

In other news… Tiny found some difficult to source parts I need to repair my current Ruger No.1. The fuggin shipment was lost at the border. 

😑

I’ll be hunting with my 223 Tupperware rifle or an M1A this year if I can’t get it fixed. Tiny already has a claim in but if they stiff him… I’m going to be on the hook for parts I didn’t get. Maybe I should just keep Pete’s Cooper rifle…

Sigh

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This morn, Hannah and I went out on Patrol alone. Fergus is a spoiled little shit and wouldn’t come when I called to get his leash on him. He ran and hid because he wants me to chase him. We left him hiding under the coffee table and barking in rage when we left without him. He finally got house trained but occasionally he rage-poops when I do stuff like this. I am going to have to put more thought into his training. I could just beat his ass into obedience but there are methods that are slower but less painful. I’ll try them first and see how it goes. 

It’s a beautiful summer day… and I need some more sun. 

Stay based and loose, fellas. I continue to feel that things may be heating up and wheels might start falling off soon. Don’t be goaded, don’t be provoked. 

Be prepared.

Filthie