I Have Been To The End Of The Internet

I have been to the end of the cyberverse. I’ve been on the internet too long. I’ve seen it all. There’s nothing new. The faces and actors come and go… but the clowns and the metrics are the same, from one end of the innernet to the other. What’s it like on the edge of the cyberverse? What’s there…?

Nothing! It’s like going north to the North Pole. Once ya get there the world just loops back around and in to itself. Everything from that point is south - back through nations of assholes, clowns, murders, rapists, thieves, shysters, beggars…and Stubfarts! It has taken a lot out of me to get here. I’m weary of the travel and lately… I’ve felt a need to rest my soul. I’ve stayed off the internet because the chaos, bedlam and mayhem just ground me down. There’s any number of crazies and stupids out there that want to make me crazy and stupid too. I’m tired, boss.

****

Everything is a matter of time. And for that - I am prepared. Out of curiosity I decided to dig out my watch collection and see if any of them still work - you can view my stately collection here on Chudstack… because the fags at Blooger aren’t letting me poost pics for some reason. I started the race last week, using my cell phone as the primary time keeping standard.

Casio Mudmaster: it’s one of the early miracle watches. It has atomic time keeping and 10 or 12 other functions and it has done them all flawlessly for the last ten years. It never loses a second.

Grampa’s old Swiss Tavannes pocket watch: 5 days in… and it hasn’t gained or lost any time. Not bad for a low tier working man’s watch that’s over a hundred years old. Big bro got Gramps’ gold watch but I’ve never seen it after he passed. I’d be curious to see that one in this race too, to be honest. Unlike the gold one… this watch isn’t worth much. You can get them off Flea Bay for a couple hundred bucks. But they’ll still keep good time if you service them and treat them with the respect due to a precision instrument.

Boschett Cave Dweller: that’s a tool watch I picked up about 15 years ago. I wanted a tool watch that could stand up to the beatings my watches take. It is water resistant to 1000m and it should be… it’s built like a bloody bathosphere! Surgical 316 stainless, screw down crown Swiss movement, yadda yadda blah blah blah. He’s still doing good too… no appreciable time loss or gain. 

Seiko Aviator… she’s dead. Quartz watches are passé now… and being a man of distinction and taste…I haven’t gotten round to replacing the battery. I miss it; all my watches are big clock-like affairs. That aviator is small and unobtrusive and I really miss it. 

So basically it’s my mechanical self-winder vs. Grampa’s old manual pocket watch. Who’s going to win? Both are Swiss, both are unpretentious tool watches for working men. This stuff really makes me think. On one hand, it’d be nice to have grandkids to hand these charming relics off to. On the other…looking at the way my daughter turned out…maybe not having grandkids is a blessing in disguise? And on the gripping hand, as Niven would have said… everyone’s all on cell phones these days anyways. No one even needs a watch -much less a mechanical. I am just as obsolete as my watches are. 

And that’s okay! I’m good with it.

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While rummaging in my plunder I found some old mags for my first .22…the little Ruger semiauto. Sooo … I’ve got that back on my list of time wasters. I’m going to shoot it tomorrow and see if I want to get back into it. Almost did it 20 years ago… but who knows.

My age must finally be creeping up on me. I can’t explain what’s going on in my head right now. I feel detached. Indifferent. It’s the damnedest thing. I just read a lunatic that posits that the world runs on game theory. All that matters is what people want, Your place in the world relies on how well you can lie and cheat, and manipulate others. Do it well, and the world is yours. Refuse to play… and you will be meat for the wolves that do. He was one of those hucksters where if you pay for his books and buy subscriptions to his content - you too can become an Alpha Wolf and be a leader of the pack. 

I just see rats. And they’re proliferating too. It’s a tempting mindset: screw the other guy because he’s just gonna screw you! Being hated is nothing to be concerned about! God, karma, rules - those are for losers! The problem with rats and wolves is that if they become a big enough problem… they eventually get shot. Or they kill each other.

As a man proficient with rifles, I don’t fear predators or vermin but I am mindful of them. I watch them with the same intensity they watch me. A few of them have gotten pieces of me over the years; that’s how I learned to respect them and avoid them. They have nothing I want or need, and for now, I can avoid them. But I’m growing uneasy… I feel as if there are forces I can’t see that are in motion, as if wolves are on my trail, and hanging back without revealing their presence. You know they’re there… but don’t have anything to aim at…

Any of you with the hair on the back of your neck standing up right now? Like things are going to go full retard any moment? 

Ughhh. It’s a beautiful spring day. The snow is almost all gone. The dawgz whine for their walk, chores beckon.

Watch your six, fellas. Something doesn’t smell right… and this time it’s not me.