Filthie Friday Fahrenheit 452: Book Burning

Fuggin Kindle’s doing it now too! 😡 Ever hear of a genre of books called “Romantasy”? It’s fuggin apostasy!!! It can’t be anything good. I know quite awhile back, books about women “mud sharking” with werewolves and vampires were all the rage. I’m glad I’m not young anymore; the kids were saying that getting dragged in to watch the movies were the most impossible shit tests you could possibly imagine. 

Y’know I went in to the local Indigo bookstore last week. I can’t remember the last time I’d been to the mall or in a brick n’ mortar book shop? The place literally reeked of potpourri, estrogen and cheap perfume. The customers: young bubble-gumming hotties in sweatpants and pajamas. Tired old cougars dressed to the nines, eying the bubble-gummers with disdain. Oblivious, impatient menopausal harridans. I felt like a hairy, flannel plaid clad smelly ape that suddenly found himself surrounded by a pride of hunting lions. My Sorel sewer boots squeaked comically as I strolled. I felt the eyes of all the predators on my back as I ambled further into the shop. I was thankful… They weren’t hungry enough to eat this stinky old ape, HAR HAR HAR!

And that’s the setting for first time I confronted Romantasy fiction. I spied a table piled with them. They looked like your average Harlequin bodice rippers, except instead of book covers showing slutty women surrendering to pirates, or cowboys or soldiers - they reposed in the arms of elfs, fairies and muscular mythical creatures. Two heavy, slovenly women were perusing the books. I felt bad for them and wondered what bad life decisions had led them to this particular place and time. (Probly shoulda asked myself that question too, come to think of it…)

🤔

While I ruminated and idly watched the foraging chubsters, an older skinny middle aged woman had silently crept up behind me. She leaned in too close and murmured “Uggghhh! Femcels have to be the absolute WORST!” I estimated that she was spackled with 7 layers of cosmetics. She wore a tailored leather jacket, elegant ear rings and had not one hair out of place. She was hunting, but I was fortunately not on her menu. “Is that so?” I said noncommittally. Catty behaviour is not common among the womenfolk in my circle. So I asked her if they had any men’s books in this place? It seemed like everything was “Chicken Soup For The Soul”, outhouse spirituality and chick lit stuff. She pointed to an uninhabited section of the store which showed a rack of Japanese Manga graphic novels. I thanked her and was dismissed. I was tempted to wish her good hunting. I decided to leave the store and call it a wash. I didn’t find any books, but I did get a snapshot of the modern woman’s world… and survived! HAR HAR HAR!

😂👍

Female dominated spaces are not all they’re cracked up to be. At least, not for me. I dunno if I will ever set foot in that store again. Not because it’s a bad place… it’s just that there’s nothing for me in there. 

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So I tried again to find a decent book on Amazon. I found a novel called “Forever Peace” by Joe Haldeman. Back in the 70s I read his novel entitled “Forever War” and it blew my mind. At the time it was ground breaking stuff and I enjoyed it. This new book is not a continuation of that story line; different characters, different settings altogether. And I found it rather disappointing. The story plot consists of some elite enlightened vibrants lefties saving the world by turning everyone onto pacifists. I managed to get through about 2/3 of it, though. I gave u because it was becoming just more lefty message fiction and social justice warrior slop. I personally wouldn’t recommend it but your mileage will vary.

The search continues. Maybe I should try a Romantasy novel next…😊💨