A Very Grey Christmas Eve

 

Stop stomping the ski tracks you beshitted little

#@*(%+¥{!!!

🤬

Today the wife is visiting her family for Christmas Eve. I have no use for those assholes and they have even less for me but it’s all good - the Niglet and I went out on the skis on a Nordic dawg patrol out in the  country. It was -20C but we weren’t screwing around! Cutting a new trail was slow and tough but the pup was occupied with foraging and smelling off in the trees on the way out. After about an hour she was ready to go home and I was ready for a stroke… but going back to the truck was a different can of worms! I’d carved the trail, and now I could really do the kick and glide and the pup was just overjoyed with my speed. By the time we got back we were both huffing and puffing on the verge of a heart attack. 

All my lashings held fast. The new bushcraft knife in its home made sheath rode solid and secure as did my colonial style belt axe that I made a few years ago. I’ve been reconsidering my fire starter kit as per the wanks on OyTube and the esteemed experts in my comments. I’m sold on bic lighters, fellas. Even when they’re out of butane they can still provide a good spark - and that’s all I need. If they’re cold, they’re easy to warm up. If they get wet, they’re easy to blow and dry out. The crucial element is the starter that will catch the spark… and I think that cotton balls impregnated with Vaseline will do what I need to do…? I will still be also keeping a small stash of birch bark for that. I’m open to other suggestions for starter material. The cool kids on OyTube have made elaborate home made fire bombs to get blazes going where ya pull a pin, just like on a grenade…and cotton wax impregnated pads catch fire and keep burning for 25 minutes. Those look like elaborate, fussy things but they seem to work well from the vids I’ve seen. 

I think the videeyah quality is so bad

because all my equipment got covered in snow and it melted from

the heat in my hands.

Either that… or I’ve become so incredibly old and ugly

that the optics are breaking down…

😞

I tried to get a vid of the Niglet chimping out in the snow but filmed myself instead. It’s funny, I noticed my elders didn’t age in a steady, linear fashion. One day they’re looking like they always have… and the next … they have new wrinkles, new lines and other signs of age that weren’t there yesterday… I did that this year. I lost a lot of weight and my skin is now flappy and wrinkley… and my beautiful, beautiful face now is as bad as Don’s ugly mug…. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! HAR HAR HAR! Oh well… flaunt it while ya got it I guess! We can’t all age like fine wine…

 😆

I wish I coulda gotten a better pic!

Ughhh. My truck just froze right up. Between my moist BO and the dawgs halitosis - the entire mess condensed inside on the truck windows and I couldn’t even see where I was driving - never mind the velociraptors out feeding in the fields. The land owner’s gag this year are plywood silhouette monsters he randomly puts out in his field. This one is a velociraptor trodding through the snow with a Santa toque on. Ordinarily I’d have that window down, and super accurate rounds heading down range from my deadly .223 Tupperware Rifle… but I’d left it at home. I coulda really gone for a dino-burger…HAR HAR HAR!

Everything got covered in snow. I took the knife and axe off the pack to dry off when I got home and I just might do a total gear dump so nothing rusts. Dammit… I forgot coffee as well as my rifle. Woulda been nice to have some tar once we got back to the truck too… 

😡

Oh well. Next time. Today, the gear can all dry off. The Niglet is bagged and so am I. I think a small drink is in order. I’ve gotta be careful - I’ve only got 5 bottles in the liquor cabinet to last me the rest of my life, and they’re all top tier - in my scholarly opinion.

Oh boy.

Do I really…really want to open it…?

I was saving this for something special. Bought it 7 or 8 years ago. I was a different person even back then, living in a different world. That bottle sat at the back of the cabinet as the world turned, and I came  and went, trying to keep up with it. Like that whisky, even at my age… I mellowed and matured. But at this point it’s pretty obvious. I’m not going to catch up. I’ve been discarded and left behind like all obsolete things. But that’s okay! It happens to all of us. And I like it here, dammit! 

After a final short walk with the pup tonight… It’ll be Canadian Caribou Crossing, fellas. I’ll hoist a glass for you, one for my own folks here, and perhaps a small final one just for me. 

Thanks for stopping by, guys. I hope you have a very merry Christmas tomorrow.

Cheers!

Filthie