My father in law went first. I swear, he aged in jumps. He didn’t slide smoothly into elderly frailty, it just seemed to hit him in unpredictable spurts. The first time I saw it was when I was in my mid 40s and he was in his mid 60s. We’d been out hunting in the late fall/early winter and one frozen morning he seemed to just wake up with a few more wrinkles. I remember wondering if he saw it himself, and if his increasingly erratic behaviour was part and parcel of it, or him just being a moronic asshole. Then my dad started doing it. Every once in awhile the creases would just deepen or some new ones would start for no real apparent reason.
I noticed it when I saw the bum in the mirror when I woke up yesterday morn. Looks like he’s gonna have a case of terminal stubfart turkey-neck coming up soon. Maybe it was just fatigue I saw in my eyes, and not advancing decrapitude…? HAR HAR HAR!!! I took a metabolic beating last week and maybe there just comes a point in time when you can’t just walk them off anymore…?
😂👍
Well…shit. Whaddya gonna do? For the record it doesn’t bother me at all - yet. I will go to meet my Maker when I’m called, not one second earlier or one second later.
I find it surprising that seeing it in my elders made me sad, but seeing it in myself doesn’t bother me at all…?
Time flies.
I suppose I better get my ass in gear. I gotta convince Tiny over at Big Country to sign his organ donor card. When he dies I want to harvest his dynamite scalp. If I can get BP to sign his, I’ll get a brain transplant too. It is my intention to prove that yes - it IS possible to be handsome AND popular at the same time.
Maybe we should all chip in and get ahead of things for a change? If we all have some salvageable organs we can put them all on a big list and when we cash out - the other stubfarts can go over it and see if there’s anything they need before the meat wagon comes and carts us off? We could save money on the transplants by doing them ourselves too…
All that and a fifth of bourbon.
ReplyDeletewho's got anything worth salvaging?
ReplyDeleteFirst I noticed everyone else looking old and then I managed to slip on ice and break my *(&^%$ing hip. Now everything hurts and I am mostly pissed.
ReplyDeleteRoger that. I have no desire to be 18 or 30 again. I've earned my seniority. When it's time to go, I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteThough, it looks like (((They))) are trying to off the White Rememberers as fast as possible. I will resist.
I've had a half dozen things happen over the decades, where afterwards, it's obvious, I've been taken down a peg or four.
DeleteNow I'm 83 I've given up trying to make my appearance look young, but I am transitioning. I'm petitioning my state to amend the birth date year on my birth cert from 1942 to 2004.
ReplyDeleteIf i could go back and start over in 1970 with the knowledge I have acquired over the years I certainly would but I don't think that would be allowed. I would not want to be 20 in this day and age. There is a whole lot of suck coming down the road, I just hope that it waits until I check out before it arrives.
ReplyDeleteI don't have anything worthwhile to add ... just wanted to say that you've cracked me up again.
ReplyDelete