Saturday, November 22, 2025

Saturday Morn Cartoons

 



This morning me and the little tardlets and turdlets are all clustered round the big ol’ TV, clad in our soiled jammies and eating cereal frosted with carcinogens and soaked in glutamates and complex compounds. And because our boomer parents are also retards, we get our important life lessons from our heroes like He-Man, G.I. Joe and the Transformers.  

😂👍




I shudder to think where the little ones get their life philosophy from today… and who their heroes are…
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1 comment:

  1. Mad JackNovember 22, 2025 at 9:52 AM

    Back in 1957 at the grocery store...

    Mom: What kind of cereal would you like?
    Little Mad Jack: Captain Cut-Up's Rockets 'n Retards!
    Mom: That's junk food. You can have Cheerios. How about Cheerios?
    LMJ: No! You said what I wanted, an' I want Captain Cut-Up!
    M: Well, you can't have Captain Cut Up. It's nothing but sugar.
    LMJ: Captain Cut-Up says its good for you, and is full of vitamins an' stuff, and if you eat it you'll grow big and strong.
    M: Captain Cut-Up lies.
    LMJ: He does not! Besides, Terry Lucarelli and Fat Dad Kessler eat it, an' they're both bigger than I am.
    M: sighs heavily Look. Think. Terry can't read the words on this box and he can't stay awake in kindergarten class. Howard set the wastebasket in the boy's room on fire and is currently in a special school - never mind. We don't talk about that to anyone.
    LMJ: Why?
    M: Because, that's why.
    Mom puts the Cheerios in the shopping cart.
    LMJ: But I don't want Cheerios!
    M: I know you don't want Cheerios, but you're going to eat them anyway. Daddy likes Cheerios. You want to be like Daddy, right?
    LMJ: Daddy gets to say bad words...
    M: He shouldn't.

    --- the next morning ---

    Daddy, sitting down at the table: What the hell is this?
    LMJ: Cheerios!
    M: Cheerios. They're better for your heart.
    D: Aw, hell.
    M: ... frosty look at Daddy ...
    LMJ: Laughs. I'm going to be just like Daddy, an' have bacon and eggs for breakfast, an' drink gin, an' swear an' stuff.
    M: See? You see what you've started?
    D: Aw...

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