Ain’t gonna lie - it’s a rough morn here at Castillo Di La Filthie. After weeks of feeding on veggies and health food I am just bunged! I sit my throne, groaning and heaving and daring heart attacks, burst blood vessels and blackouts as I strain. The blockage in my intestinal tract refuses to budge. Power tools may well be required.
Any Thoughtful blogging is simply out of the question. Please accept my sincere apologies for the lack of intelligent content to which you have become accustomed. All I have today is a motley small collection of random rude jokes and puzzling and putrid pictures guaranteed to offend the Usual Suspects. You know the rules: no bedwetters, pillow biters, tire biters, fart knockers, jacknasties, or flimps beyond this point. If you proceed beyond this point the manageMINT will not be responsible for any hurt feelings, sad kittens, or curdled milk.
And now… I return to my Herculean efforts. We must part the road between us for now - may your workday be busy and fast and maybe spare a prayer for your humble blog host if you have the time!
Cheers!
Filthie
💩👍🏾
from one stubfart to another, don't strain! everyone has some degree of hemorrhoids and straining... well you don't want to go there. Ask me how I know, had the experience earlier this year and had to go see multiple Drs including a surgeon. Twice daily metamucil plus 1-2 liters of water daily is now a feature of life but that stuff does work.
ReplyDeleteFlimps......?
ReplyDeleteCareful on your efforts, hemorrhoid surgery is not fun.
If you can't choke the Metamucil down try MiraLax. It dissolves completely and has no flavor. It's like drinking plain water.
ReplyDeleteI’m on orange flavoured Metamucil and if ya drink it fast…it’s not that bad. I just gotta remember to take it every couple of days…! 😬
DeleteI have to make things part of my routine or I forget, so the first thing down my throat every day is my dose of MiraLax. If I miss a day I regret it later.
DeleteI found that just a handful of raisins a day does the trick
ReplyDeleteDo like the constipated Mathematician did, Glen; work it out with pencil and paper!
ReplyDeletePrunes and water, Glen... LOTS of water... As us former church choir singers say, "Pee pale!"
Pencil…? I’m using a chromium pry bar at this point…! 😞
DeleteTry a warm buttermilk enema. Maybe mix in some cottage cheese.
ReplyDeletea bottle of magnesium citrate from the drugstore will work, and work fast. just don't plan on leaving the house for 24 hrs. best of luck
ReplyDelete