In the morn now - it’s gettin’ chilly. The leaves are starting to turn, and the first frost is not that far off. The days are getting shorter. The l’il Niglet loves it. Canada Goose Flight School is getting ready to graduate the Class Of ‘25 - the juveniles grow so fast - they have their adult plumage now. The grass has pretty much stopped growing. The Missus, the dawg and I are camping this weekend. I might turn on the furnace tonight. Or not, It’s still optional.
I visited some friends last night who were having drinks around the fire pit with family and friends. We had a sociable cigar - alcohol generally no longer agrees with me. I drink modestly and only very seldom nowadays. I met his daughter whom I haven’t seen since she was 11 or 12. She hit the wall hard and now looks like a tired middle aged woman. I was astonished. Another summer passes. I guess this is it - I don’t care about calendars and solstices and such… it’s now early fall.
Seeing my friend’s daughter just drove it home. I’m now in the autumn of my life. I suppose it has been for awhile. I feel like an autumn tree: instead of shedding leaves, I’ve seen pieces of myself that seem to blow away in the breeze too. Friends, family, pets, hobbies, priorities, habits… things that used to matter to me and be parts of my heart and soul are gone forever. Some of it hurt…but a surprising number didn’t at all. At least my farts smell like pumpkin spice - which makes me popular with the ladies!
I suppose I’ll blow away one of these days and be gone sooner than I expect too.
😞
Bah. For now I’ll pretend it all still matters, go through the motions like I still have it all in front of me, and impose order on my life when and where I can. In other areas… I can accept what comes because it doesn’t matter whether I like it or not I suppose.
I hope your gardens were good to ya this year fellas. It might be time to start getting the home and garden squared away though. I still can’t smell the winter in the wind yet… but it’s coming.
Cheers!
Filthie
Cheers to you as well. We don't get old so much as we mature. The things I wanted some years back no longer matter to me, which is just as well. The life I have matters.
ReplyDeleteGo camping and enjoy yourself, your wife, and your dog. That's what matters.
Thanks for stopping by Jack!
DeleteJeez, how the hell old are you? I am 83 and don’t see things half as bleak as you. Consider all the crap you no longer need to accept.
ReplyDeleteI’m not always like this. Fall for me is a time for introspection and reflection.
DeleteI'm in my mid Fifties and I've experienced the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI have found that I enjoy the little things so much more.
Like getting up on a crisp Fall morning, the leaves changing and the dew on the grass, it's wonderful.
Cuddling in the morning with your wife after you both wake up and making sweet love, it's beautiful.
This weekend, it's the first real football weekend with my favorite college and NFL teams playing. Having a beer and snacks watching the game with my friends is great.
Filthie, pay attention to the little things and enjoy them. The big BS of what is going on in the World, pay attention and prepare but don't let it get you down. What will be will be but in the meantime enjoy your life.
That is a tough one for me Jimmy - ain’t gonna lie. It takes a deliberate act of will for me to stay positive. I’m not that great at it some days. It helps to stay busy and focused.
DeleteMaturity brings unbidden truth to the conscious and subconscious. Deeper truths seap and creep in. Priorities rearrange instinctively and with help.
ReplyDeleteComing to terms where "I don't give a damn." is appropriate, is a good thing, not a bad thing.
Has anybody else noticed, how desperately much, atheists need to stay alive, at all costs? It's because they lack a certain awareness. They also tend to lack humor, where as, we "superstitionists" are much more jolly! ymmv
I grew up in an atheist house and was conditioned from birth not to see God. Or Christians - only caricatures of them. I stumbled over God on Dog Island at 5:00 am in the snow. A short while later I met Christians - real ones, not the Bible thumping holy rollers and poseurs.
DeleteI often reflect on the path that brought our culture to where it is and you’re right. Atheists tolerate and accept things they shouldn’t and try to pass it off as virtue. The more they accept and tolerate, the unhappier and more vicious they seem to get. The Christians I see are busy, happy and productive. But that’s just my view from out here in the outhouse too…🤔