The Omega Woman

 When I was a kid the two scariest guys in the world were Vincent Price - and Charlton Heston! Vincent sold demented nightmares and would twist the young mind against itself and us little kids would scare ourselves shitless! But Heston… after I watched The Omega Man I started carrying a baseball bat and a BB gun. I told Pop I needed to trade my pocket knife in for a Kabar. Heston sold nightmares that were all too possible and plausible. I jumped at shadows for days after watching that.

Heston’s shows made kids like me look at the fuggin adults around me and wonder if they were insane. Biological weapons?!?! Are you guys nuts???

These guys were the worst. They only came out at night, to kill people and burn their own cities down. Like vampires… they were photosensitive and would die in hideous pain in daylight. In the morning, I’d wake up, red eyed and sore. My hands would tremble as I shakily poured my coffee that I’d begun to drink to help me stay alert at night. I still remember mom… “You shouldn’t watch TV, you li’l retard! You see stupid movies and think they’re real…!!! You need to seriously grow up!!!”

Aaaaaand here we are, damned near 55 years later. And - woops!!! But…what is this?!?!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! Lookit!!! The girl in the pic is as white as a sheet!!!! And she’s taking drugs that supposedly make her less crazy and cause a vampiric aversion to light!!! 

😬😬😬

And here we go again. I’ve pooped the bed in fright! It’s 3:30 in the morning… and I got my 45 in the night table with two mags loaded up with the hottest powder and 230gr of pain reliever. In the morning I’m gonna call up WL Emery and see if I can borrow one of his big Rigby safari rifles. Thanks a lot, Mr. Heston!!!

According to the late Uncle Bob, 25% of North American women are on antidepressants. It pays to be in front of things like this. And, I wonder, too… when the little ones look at us adults through little eyes… what do they see when they look at us?

It’s gonna be a loooooong night…😞