There’s been a few ignoramii that have told me that I do unholy things in the washroom and leave it uninhabitable afterwards.
Fair enough. I’m open minded and can take objective constructive criticism. So - to alleviate the problem…what should I do?
Option A - The Potpourri: as far as I know fussy old women make these things. They’re basically a jar with holes poked in the lid and filled with froots and flowers and fragrances n’ sheeeit. Some of them can be downright nasty - nastier than the methane and lighter hydrocarbons they’re supposed to hide. I think they basically smell like somebody shat in the flower vase when all is said and done.
Option B - Febreeze: I have no experience with it. Have any of you rotters used it?
The so-called poo-pourri is a scented oil that floats on top of the bowl water and coats the swimmers as they fall in, trapping the odor. It does nothing for the gas emissions that accompany the swimmers. It tends to work ok on the swimmers, but ...
ReplyDeleteMy issue is that when I needs to go, I needs to go RIGHT FRICKING NOW. Delaying that action to open the small bottle, kindly dribble a spinkling of the oil on the toilet water, then capping the bottle all before dropping trousers invites a very high risk of shitting my pants.
We have 3 toilets in our house and I will strategically try to go to the one least likely for my wife to need, yet I barely sit down before she barges in anyways. Hell, I'm in the back of the house in the guest bath to avoid her but inevitably she needs something from that very room right then and there. Then she bitches about the smell.
I have no answers. Just my secret shame.
The Potpourri looks and smells like a delicate arrangement of fragrant flowers in full bloom wafting gently through the air and concealing the overpowering scent of dead gopher coming from the laundry hamper.
ReplyDeleteFebreeze does the same thing, but with less effort. Neither one works.
When I used to live with Main Lady, she'd get all hinky and uptight about what the bathroom smelled like, and as a result, she'd keep one or more candles in the head. The deal was when you went in to lighten up, you were supposed to light the candle before settling yourself on the roost. Let the candle burn after you exit.
Febreeze is OK. That potpourri gives me a headache.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, anything has got to be better than striking a sulfur match like we did back in the day!
ReplyDeletehey bro, i remember the matches working pretty well.
Deleteyea it smelled like sulfer but it didn't smell like sh*t
Boatswain's Mate shithouse logic, heard while at sea:
ReplyDeletePine-Sol: "Smells like someone just shit a Christmas tree in here!"
Any other "air freshener:" "Smells like shit & roses in here!"
The rest of the crew, no matter WHAT... or WASN'T... used: "Smells like someone gave birth to a boatswain's mate in here!"
Heavy duty vent fan is the only solution for the stank of whiskey shits, everything else makes an substance that sticks to the walls which requires new paint!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo
A fan.
ReplyDeleteYou need a *fan*... vented to *outside*.
Or at bare minimum, a *big* window... *open*.
Leave some raw shrimp behind the toilet on the floor, no one will ever complain about your emissions again.
ReplyDeleteExile1981
We don't have many visitors and even less people that like us. I keep fabreeze out as a courtesy. If they don't use the fan, it's their own damn fault.
ReplyDeleteJust remembering to flush afterwards / afterturds goes a long way Filthie.!
ReplyDeleteFart spray is our go-to solution at the office. Eight men share that restroom and two members can 'clear a space' with the best of them.
ReplyDeleteFebreeze works better than anything else, and is darned near magical. Do not shake it!
ReplyDeleteI just light the dry bog roll in the bowl and let it burn - and flush before the flames get too high - removing the evidence and smell. The smoke hides all odours - even the wife approves
ReplyDeleteFuggit. If I'm proud of it, I'll leave it. That's what exhaust fans are for. As far as the old lady barging in is concerned, she does that, she gets what she deserves.
ReplyDeleteI flush, keep the fan running, and shut the door and let the fan do it's job. That's the signal of biohazard contamination around here.