Note: just some family baggage n’ dirty laundry here, folks. Regular visitors, stubfart vagrants and retards can probably give this one a miss. For you, Spud - if you happen by… continued under the fold.
Hey Kid.
What’s it been? 10 or 15 years? It’s been a long time. The family’s changed since you left. Grampy and Grampa have both passed. Both of your grandmothers are widows. Mom is still your mom and is doing fine. I’m older, gnarlier and even smellier than ever before as you might imagine.
I couldn’t drag the baggage between you and I around anymore - so I threw it away. I didn’t know what else to do with it. I can’t forgive you for the things you’ve said and done… but your mom and Nanny and Grandma will. I think they’re all nuts but that’s on them. I can see you treating me this way…but they always loved you and were on your side and in your corner. Those silly bints probably still are.
My mom is frail condition and her mind is starting to go, but Nanny seems to be doing alright for now. She’s finally lost some weight through some admirable dieting and exercise and is going strong for a woman her age. But… they aren’t going to be around forever. Just sayin’.
Not trying to tell you what to do or guilt trip you or anything, but… but if there is anything decent left in you… you might want to drop a line to one of them. I know we can’t be in the same room together without you giving me gas and me curdling your milk, so I’ll be happy to be somewhere else if you ever care to straighten things out with the family. For me it’s enough to know you’re safe and happy.
Pop
Good message, hope she gets it.
ReplyDeleteNo hair, that explains the excess testosterone, mega man we have all come to admire and love...
...Where did THAT come from!? Sorry, not love in THAT way, Christian love, yeah, that's it!
Wisdom written here. We can't change the past but we can move forward and minimize the after effects. I hope you had a great Mother's Day.
ReplyDeleteSome of these 'kids' have no idea how much it hurts to be abandoned by your child. In your case, those women don't deserve that.
ReplyDeleteAfter the old lady bugged out on me, I try to see the grandkids when I can, but they have busy lives. I'll get together with the boy, if I text. It's usually me that does. I took him shooting and to a fine steakhouse for his 30th birthday last week. He gets a pass, he has a brand new woman in his life. I get it. My youngest, well, it's been forever that we've talked or even texted.
I was at the oldest's house hanging with the grandkids just after I moved. I used to live not too far away from my two oldest, about 20 minutes. My area had more than a few great restaurants, including a hardcore Chinese one that was the best I've been. I was chatting with my son-in-law about it. Turns out, him, my son, and his friend have a guys night on Wednesdays. I've never been invited. They literally drove past my house to the Chinese place a block away and never thought the text the old man to meet them, or even stop by after to say hello.
That hurt. I'd never have treated my old man like that.
Later that day I was chatting with my oldest daughter, telling her the story of my mom's wake - where her family breezed in from Jersey, noticed the closed casket, and said they wanted to see their sister. My dad told them "The time to see your sister was when you were in town (for business, or to visit their kids not 20 minutes away.) You have no idea how much that hurt her. The casket stays closed".
Then I told her how much it hurt to have her husband and my son do essentially the same thing.
Whatever. I said my piece. They can take it or leave it.
Far as your kid goes, we won't be around forever. Life's too short for blood feuds.
My wife told me several times over the years that it seemed I wanted our kids out of my life as soon as they turned 18. She said I wanted nothing to do with them. ...My oldest son knew I loved music and knew I loved to sing, and for that matter COULD sing. He started a garage band.... in MY GARAGE. Did he ever ask me if I wanted to jam with him? No. My middle son knew I loved fishing, camping, and the ocean. He went camping countless times while he was still living at home. He went fishing on a charter boat several times. He bought himself a boat and went fishing and diving all the time. NOT ONCE did he EVER ask if I wanted to join him on ANY of those outings. Somehow though, it was MY fault that my kids and I grew apart.
DeleteI searched my soul. Did I make mistakes as a dad? Sure. What dad doesn't? Were any of them SHOWSTOPPERS? Not a single one! Did I push them away? NO. There's a difference in expecting a certain amount of maturity at a certain age and "pushing them away." I was a GOOD dad. my conscience is CLEAR. I can tell you this though; my sons SURE KNOW HOW TO PLAY THEIR MOTHER!!!
Our problem guys, is that we're MEN. When something is broken, MEN want to FIX THEM. sometimes though, they just can't be fixed...
Well fellas, I think the kids are different now. And I think you guys are doing great! The kids are so damned busy now, there’s more shite on their plates than we had at their age and maybe the best thing to do is for us old stubfarts to get out of their way…? If all you can get out of them is a quick text, smile and tell them you love them. Make a point of doing it too - we could be touched by an anvil and taken off the board at any time too. Even a rickety creaky bridge between you is better than no bridge at all these days…
DeleteBut whadda I know…? I’m pretty sure they still love you too…and that everything will be alright in the end.
People, so disappointing. Was it intentional or thoughtless? Hard to say.
ReplyDeleteThe old norms of etiquette and thoughtfulness are mostly gone.
I'm going to blame the Satanic Western education system for systematically removing anything regarding proper morals from public discussion...but then, I'm a more stubbed, old fart than Glen...despite being 6' tall.
One of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou
ReplyDelete"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
By their ACTIONS not words they show you who they are and how they really feel about you.
If people can't be bothered to spend time with you even though they are regularly in your area, that tells you how they really feel, so ***** them.
Well that’s right too, Jimmy.
DeleteY’know I have dreams sometimes. The daughter is not an estranged freak; she’s a tradwife married to a great young fella … in the dreams he’s a firefighter, or a cop, or a tradesman that just makes ya proud as punch. My daughter is as pretty as a picture… The grandkids are cute as a button and spoiled rotten… then I wake up. who actually has that, nowadays?
All I can do is keep that swirling vortex of self destructive shitlib anger and resentment away as far as possible and try to do the best I can. It almost consumed me once upon a time, light years ago.