Back in the days of skin mags the big porn rags tried to put on airs of respectability and ran articles of interest to menfolk besides girlie pics. Playboy might run some “adventure and travel” articles so that when ya got busted with them you could sheepishly say, “I only read it for the articles…” Penthouse would pen some sports articles or maybe some men’s fashion articles in between the porn pics. We used to have an entire file cabinet drawer in the control room filled with them.
My favourite was Hustler published by Larry Flynt. He was a raging lunatic and I think he even ran for POTUS one year? Like Larry himself - Hustler made no effort whatsoever toward respectability or civility. Penthouse and Playboy ran modest, glamorous girlie pics while Hustler ran the raunchiest harlots you could imagine. I may be dating myself but I still remember the horror and shock the prudes suffered when they saw what was being published. The perverts I worked with called them “splayed clam” pics. Larry Flynt pissed off EVERYONE. Flynt ran some pornographic political cartoons about Saddam Hussein that were so awful and so funny - that Saddam reportedly put a hit out on him. What do the arabs call a contract hit? A “fartwha”? But that was like waving a red flag at the bull; Saddam became a favourite punching bag of the magazine and each month he became a regular in the “Graffilthy” column… basically a joke compilation of the filthiest, most nauseating and funniest jokes you could ask for.
My first job in highschool that paid was a video store that advertised the largest porn selection north of [redacted], my job was to go in before school and sanitize the videos and cases dropped through the return slot over night. They also had a huge magazine selection. The owners husband would pick out a few new specialty mags for the store every few months. If they sold they became staples, if not we tried something else. Some of the ones he brought in made hustler look tame, One time he brought in a mag called "600 plus", I'll leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteExile1981
Dass waayycisss!!!
ReplyDeleteThe one cartoon you couldn't read says, "He bent over to change the channel, then I heard a loud farting sound!"
ReplyDeleteYa done out done ya sef and yer bleg again Glen. Love it! DG
ReplyDeleteHustler was a pretty raw mag. The one thing that they had going for them was the "most tastless joke" each month. They had some doozies. RIP Larry Flint
ReplyDeleteOh, Hustler humor was the bomb!! I think they even used the same illustrator as Mad Magazine at one point. I mean, you had to have something to read after, you know, you were done with the pics. As a kid in the 70's, it was easy enough to find a stash of mags somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the last time I even saw a magazine rack in a convenience store, much less with dirty mags on it. I guess the internet took over completely in that regard.
The jokes and cartoons were awesome. You forgot the two best features - Chester the Molester, and Beaver Hunt.
ReplyDeleteFunny story involving Hustler and every other skin mag you can think of: Early 80's, a large power plant I was working on was getting ready to put the first unit online. Management thought it would be a great idea to have a community day on a Saturday, complete with tours and lunch. Even the Governor was there. Furious cleaning of the job site took place for three days prior. Problem was every gang box, job trailer, supply area and break room throughout the power plant, including the main control room, were heavily adorned with pictures from Hustler and the like. And no one thought to take them down. Monday morning, shit hit the fan. By Monday noon, there wasn't a centerfold picture to be found on the job site. Good times!
ReplyDelete1990, plant hired a female machinist. Yeah, I know. Almost as funny as a female doctor. In any event, her first day on the job, the rest of the machine shop crew told her they weren't taking down their girly posters, she was just gonna have to put up with it. She said fine. Second day, she starts putting up Playgirl posters of naked men and tells them, hey, works both ways. Third day, all posters are gone.
DeleteThing was, she wasn't bad looking, just a little hefty. Couple years later she gets married. Buys her new husband a $50,000 bass boat as a wedding present. Everyone at the plant goes "DAMN". Missed out on a good woman.
2Gs forever ruining everything https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/third-world-forever-chasing-white-man Its a proven fact FFS.
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