The Niglet and I did a sweep of Dawg Island this morn and have nothing to report. There were no deadly feral coyotes to be seen anywhere, or rabid scoundrels attacking defenceless old ladies… but that doesn’t mean anything. There’s any number of places they could bed down in the shade and sleep off the hot day. Ho-hum…
But! I had better take precautions! JL the cop has made inquiries with his station chief and promises to procure a 44 magnum, an RPG7 and a crate of rocket propelled grenades for me - I should receive it all soon. I’m also going to need another recruit for Dawg Patrol too! Pete The Meat has just the solution:
Wow. I just love German Shepards. Always wanted one, too. Unfortunately for me, these are purebred, papered puppers from prize winning Schutzenhunds. It’s a sport for knobs and tofts where the dawgs have to do tracking, fighting and biting, and some other formalized obstacle courses and obedience drills. About as sporting as watching paint dry, in my opinion.
I told Pete if he has any retarded or ugly ones that I’d take it off his hands… but it sounds like I am SOL on this litter… unless, of course, your financial generosity can set me up with the resources I need to keep the neighborhood safe…?
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Be sure to be generous and contribute today! Pete F, Chutes and Mike are on notice: no cheques!!! Errr…and for Cederq… no slugs or wooden nickels!!!
Gawddammit. I used to get uncontrollable urges to buy guns and fishin rods and camping equipment. Now I think I want another dawg in the worst way too. Something is obviously wrong with my head!
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Be quick with those armaments, JL. I haven’t got all day…
I know what you're going through, hence, no money from me, it's for your own good! I've had those urges, still have those urges, HENCE, I have 4 dogs now, from 10 pounds to a hundred pounds! THEY ALL NEED CONSTANT ATTENTION!!...and rubs...and walkies...and vet visits...and FOOD! and I still want more dogs. I can't help it...
ReplyDeleteYou better watch what you ask for, mister!
The neighbor has a purebred German Shepard. Then he screwed around on his wife and got kicked out. Dog is still there, outside day and night and just howling for any attention. I've damn near decided to walk next door and tell the lady to give me the dog if she ain't gonna take care of it. Of course she's friends with my wife and that could cause problems, but the hell of it is the dog is just lonely and neglected and it pisses me off. We already got 2 dogs and a 3rd would be a handful, but still. It's a shit world we live in.
ReplyDeleteHave a talk with the old ball and chain, then adopt the dog. That nice little dog would be overjoyed to have doggy friends and walks and stuff.
DeleteMan, those pups are sure cute!
ReplyDeleteBut IIRC, I only paid $400 for Wolfgang. I would have had to pay another $1500 if I hadn't gotten him fixed - but I didn't want to show him, I just wanted a dog.
Well yeah. But if you were to buy him today…I’d guess you’d probly pay at least $1000.00 and probably a bit more. If you planned to breed him? Three or four thousand? The prices are insane. Hannah is a mutt and she cost $300.00
DeleteDoesn’t the Queen Of The World have lots of money, BP? Maybe she could swing a volume discount by buying two for us…
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So, uh, about those 'armaments'. I was told that due to Carney's pending cutbacks, all the stuff I got tentatively promised is a no-go. It was suggested I scrounge what I can from the lost and found. So I did...and it looks pretty grim. Best I could do was: a broken water pistol (pink in colour), a bag of marbles, a half a pack of Wrigley's chewing gum (cinnamon flavour), a bottle of Aqua Velva aftershave, a Montreal Canadiens toque, a rhinestone encrusted wallet containing $500 of Monopoly money, an old tube of Preparation H, and a copy of the June 1983 edition of MAD Magazine.
ReplyDeleteSorry Filthie. I'm sure you can probably use some of that crap...just maybe not for killing coyotes.
Disappointing JL… but still excellent work! 👍
DeletePlease put the toque, the Aqua Velva and the Preparation H in a box and I will pick it up the next time I get busted and brought in for being a public nuisance and a vagrant…
May I suggest a 6' (2m) walking-staff topped with two or three tennis balls? Maybe 1-1/4" (30mm) diameter ash, hickory or pultruded fiberglass.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to connect the tennis balls to the staff is to drill-and-glue an 8" screwdriver into the end of the staff and to put a chisel grind on the tip of the screwdriver to make it easier to spear the tennis balls.
The stage-prop can then be used with your best Friar Tuck imitation to intimidate scoundrels and rabid pigs as you spin your quarter-staff.
Always wanted one too, they have hip problems so never did. My son # 2 has one. Great dog, having problems now. Duke is a good dog and I will morn his passing. Don
ReplyDeleteYup. I have three. Wonderful, beautiful dogs, loving, smart, shedding, neurotic needy, you'll never be alone in the bathroom. But, Every one of them has genetic problems. Both the girls have Pannus an auto immune problem that attacks their eyes. One of the girls has bad hips. The old man has shepherd gut (just like the picture of the poor puppy in the previous post) and hip/back problems. All three are rescues. I wouldn't trade them for anything, but I wouldn't recommend getting one.
DeleteGSDs are the best. I've had a couple and worked many. Unfortunately a lot of overbreeding is prevalent. Everyone talks about bad hips.
ReplyDeleteA.common affliction is caused by DM It wrecks their back and motor nerves. I've heard it likened to ALS in humans. It is a DNA test that should be done by breeders.
Look it up it's a relatively new diagnosis.
Paul J
two of the best dogs I ever had where 'pound hounds"
ReplyDeleteJack was a mixed lab/GSD /whatever- 20 dollar pound hound.
had him for 17.5 years. great dog, great hunting dog and really good with the kids growing up;
Slim was a pickup in West Philly, another pound hound.
Vet said he looked to be almost pure roadie ridgeback.
even better with kids than old Jack was, any kids, the smaller they where. the more he watched over them. left the outside cats alone, but killed every coon that came close to the house here.
my neighbors still talk about Slim. he was so skinny when I got him, he could slip thru the black iron fence I had around the back yard. he filled out fast though , he was a good 110 pounds of muscle and bone by year 2. Sky (?) my neighbor's grandkid loved him and he just followed her everywhere too.
was kind of funny to watch really, she was maybe all of 20-25 pounds and this big monster dog let her do anything to him.
Best dogs i ever had were my female blackmouth curs. You might have to come a bit south to find one. Territorial but not aggressive, super smart, very intuitive, very trainable, very loyal and adaptable.
ReplyDeleteCheck and see if there are any GSD rescue groups. There are those that get these awesome dogs, then can't handle them. I'm with the commentor above, make the pound a weekly visit, look over rescue groups. I had an awesome lab/shepherd mix - Jethro. Best dawg ever. I've seen a couple. It's a great mix - friendliness and goofiness of a lab, but smart and protective like a shepherd. Literally best of both worlds. I was looking for one after Jethro died, and wound up with a doofus yella lab.
ReplyDeleteThis'll make you nuts; The girlfriend lives in a more rural area. Shitheads abandon dogs there all the time. There was a pit mix and GSD cut loose there. Barney at animal control couldn't be bothered. Some hayseed wound up shooting them both.
Asking if there are flubbed up litters is smart. I was wanting to get an Australian shepherd and found a breeder not to far away. At the time pups were like $1200. But they had a scratch-and-dent litter that came out wrong. Mostly white with patches on their eyes. They cut them loose for $400/ea. Fuggin future X-wife said no.
ReplyDelete