Last night we were out dawg patrolling when I spied a familiar neighborhood senior delinquent - Ingrid. She lives round the other corner and down the street with three dawgs, and her boyfriend is my nextdoor neighbour, who just put his house up for sale. They’re an inter-racial couple (he’s some kind of arab) but an affable sort. Ingrid is a chicken headed liberal woman - a public educator. Nice lady, but the kind I prefer to keep at a polite distance.
When the neighbor sold his house, I assumed he’d be moving in with her. (They are in their 60s). They’ve been seeing each other for years, I could see his motorcycle parked in her garage. When I asked when he’d be all moved in and settled in - she looked at me like I’d just cut a big ripper fart in church!
“Oh no…” she kinda laughed, “We aren’t going to live together…!” She said as if she were talking to a retard. “He’s going to buy a bungalow somewhere in Aaaadmontin…” It was like only an idiot would make such an assumption!
🤨
“We met on a dating website called “Together But Apart…” and I just stared stupidly back at her feeling like an idiot. Then she stared back at me like an idiot! How embarrassingly awkward. What in hell kind of relationshit was that? Part kinda mud shark, part…apart…? How does that work?!?
I recovered first and changed the subject. I guess his house sold the second it hit the market, $25k over asking when the smoke cleared. Which reminds me that I really need to jump on some home repairs too.
We parted ways. I think she was trying to decide whether or not to be offended or not at me. A lot of women are mind readers I knew she could tell what I was thinking. For my part… I have absolutely no fuggin idea what was going on in her noggin.
I don’t think they even know…? I wonder if that is part of what drives so much of the modern female angst and unhappiness? Most women can read their men like a book and play him like a fiddle … but they have no idea what it is that they want from anything and drives them bonkers…?
I’da thunk it was a no-brainer? Ya shack up together, split the bills, pool your incomes and yer off to the races with enough money between you to live modestly well.
Together But Apart…? Maybe I am a retard and that all makes sense to the
grown ups?
Whadda I know…?
Friends with benefits?
ReplyDeleteBooty Call exclusive?
ReplyDeleteThat first image is really spot on. If women actually knew what they were getting into, I think 99% of them would choose to stay home, have children, and cook dinner.
Sometimes--saving money isn't worth the headaches of living with a woman. You've already sketched out her personality type...no man would willingly subject himself 24/7 to that just to save a few hundred bucks a month.
ReplyDeleteThat short brief says it all, women should heed the advice given and leave it to the men, they know better and are logical.
ReplyDeleteTogether but apart sounds like what we used to call friends with benefits or in high school we called it F@@k friends. Basically you want a consistent sexual partner but still want the freedom of being single.
ReplyDeleteExile1981
Filthie, I'm one of those, too.
ReplyDeleteWhen my girlfriend (then 50) and I (then 55) got together, she had a house, and I had mine. We love each other, but at our ages, we're each a little set in our ways. We spend the weekends together, and keep in touch during the week, but I like having my place where I can do whatever the fuck I want to do, and she likes having the same. We each were already accustomed to the bills we pay, so it works out for us.
She's enlightened and "modern" and you're...well, a stub fart. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
ReplyDeleteSell your place for a small fortune and move to a free state, we have several to choose from, with lots less cold.
If you find her repugnant enough to not consider living with then why would any other self respecting man do it? He sold his house and is moving away from his insignificant other . Peace is preferred over piece after a certain amount of time on this planet.
ReplyDeleteLadies of the night will rarely complain about your nut rattling farts, after the happy ending you pay them the agreed upon amount to leave until next time!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo
Let’s play house with a woman we’re not going to have children with. What could go wrong???? In Australia the government says you’re married after just living together for six months. Want to break up and experience die-vorce grape? Should you die before her, your assets would likely go to her & her offspring instead of your offspring or relatives named in your will. And here’s the cherry on top - Because she knows exactly where you are at all times there is no mystery any more or any need to behave (or else next !), so let the nagging & chirping at you begin. Who hurt me ? EVERY girlfriend I stupidly decided to share a house with. Not good statistics eh ? 😉
ReplyDeleteRegards fighting for the right to work in an office, it’s pretty transparent. For a certain, very common kind of woman, it’s for “the tingles”. They might meet & breed with a high-status, wealthy man, a CEO or maybe the head of accounting, and leave the mouth breathing tradesman, teacher or small business owner they had to settle for and marry. Plus it’s air conditioned and there’s no risk (except paper cuts), no physical work and lots of other girls to gossip about/with. Plus they have their own money they can build-up a secret escape account with. I remember in high school, my Granddad ended up in a nursing home. He got pretty bitter about my loving nan, because she’d turn up every day, spend 15 mins with him, then the rest of the time with the other wives who were also there with hospitalised, invalid husbands. I saw it with my own eyes. She’d spend half a day there, mostly gossiping with the other women. It was surprising to me at my age to see he was right - The “devoted wives” were all doing this !!!
ReplyDelete