A younger friend at my church has been burning my phone down. I am not glued to my phone and often get separated from it. It’s funny how that works - I know people that go into withdrawal if they don’t have their phones on them at all times. By the time I catch up with mine there’s 4 calls on it. All from Bruce.
Bruce is a long haul trucker and he is always on the road. He’s a workaholic and goes 24/7/365. Which is good, I suppose. His marriage is a little shaky and he is mired in debt. He’s a great guy but he has issues. I’ve had my share issues and drama back in the day too. But he is in financial trouble to the point that there’s debt collectors phoning him and hassling him.
He’s always liked my motorcycle and wants one of his own. Now he’s trying to finance a purchase of a new one. I don’t get it? Debt is nothing to some people…I wonder how their minds work? Back when I had a life my mortgage kept me awake at night. I hated my car loans. Visa hated me because I never carried a balance and paid it off every month. I paid my loans out early to get out from under them. I’m pretty sure he isn’t saving for retirement at all. He gets mad at the debt collectors when they call and thinks nothing of telling them to FOAD.
I’m curious to see if his financing comes through? I’m kinda hoping it doesn’t for his sake. I think he’s heading for really rough water…
The one guy I know who is like that has no mental concept of "time". It is like trying to explain "color" to a blind man.
ReplyDeleteHe worries as much about stuff that might happen in five years as he does about things that will happen on Friday.
It is like "time" and "numbers" are not real...about the same way I think of "feelings" of people who have mental health issues or who are hell-driven to try and manipulate me.
Yup. There’s a disconnect going on with such folks Joe. I used to watch this Christian couple on OyToob that taught guerilla home finance tactics and they claimed anyone can be debt free in 7 years. Brutal budgets, ingenious life hacks, enhanced mindsets and attitudes to cope … I recognized them all. One of the toughest things, they said… was when the noobs have to cut up their credit cards. Some will shake and even weep like an addict with a chemical addiction.
DeleteDebt used to drive me crazy too. Still does. I'd get sick from worry over it, but since I was salary working more hours didn't help. I tried cutting everything I could but the wife and kids would scream if I reduced the cable to basic or anything like that. Money issues caused probably 90% of the fights I had with the wife thru the first 20 years of our marriage. Most of that is in the past, but there's still some times when I go thru the fucking roof. Right now the wife has probably spent several thousand on landscaping and it's eating me alive but I haven't said anything yet. I'll probably hold it in a while longer and then explode for no good reason. That's the best way of dealing with things.
ReplyDeleteOr a heart infarction...
DeleteOh jeez, Don. I did that for most of my adult life. The crazies in my life were making me crazy and one day the wife and I sat down, hashed a few things out, removed some complicated issues from our lives… and life reset for us. Our circle is much smaller now… but now all the demons in my life are my own and I can deal with those.
DeleteHe's headed for repo hell. Some company will finance his bike with a very hefty downstroke, then hope he makes a year or so of payments before he misses three in a row. Then they'll repo the bike and sell it.
ReplyDeleteIn the U.S. of A. a long haul trucker is said to make $173,000 per year. Out of that comes expenses, health deterioration, and taxes. With all the truckers I've talked to, I have yet to hear one recommend driving a semi as a career.
Does the old ball and chain work? Because it matters. If Bruce is up to his ass in debt, he isn't saving anything for retirement. What he should be doing is paying off his mortgage and covering the utilities. He should also be planning an exit strategy, because the beating you get as a trucker will eventually get to you and that, as they say, will be that.
Sorry about Bruce.
Ughhh I hope you’re wrong, WL… but I think you have the right of all that. I drink coffee with him and we hit the range sometimes but I don’t want to get too close to him friendship-wise. He’s a nice guy but I don’t want to be around when life blows up on him. It’s all self induced. I’ve told him exactly that - pay down your debt, put money in the bank, blah blah blah. I get dirty looks so … whatever. It’s a shame, really…
DeleteOn the bright side: at least your friend and his wife aren't dealing with a drug or alcohol addiction. I've witnessed that destroy more people than I care to count.
ReplyDeleteDo they ever recover JL? I’m seriously at the point where I think druggies and dealers should get the death penalty….
DeleteSometimes they do, yes. The prevailing factor is whether or not they WANT to recover badly enough. I have seen this happen, too. Just last year, I arrested this young guy, maybe 20 or so, for a rash of B&Es/thefts. Guy was a hardcore meth addict. Basically lived on the streets, eating rotten food out of dumpsters. He stole electronics to sell to the local asshole selling meth (who we also later took out of commission - for now) to feed his meth habit.
DeleteWhen I took him into custody, I sat and had a long chat with him. He told me that he didn't want to live like he did anymore but didn't know how to kick the habit. I eventually managed to get a full confesssion out of him for all his crimes and all it cost me was a Big Mac meal at the local McDonald's and an hour of my time. He went on to plead guilty and is currently serving his bit. Last I checked in on him, he was still enrolled in the addictions program. I really hope he sticks with it.
So...yes, some people do manage to get on the right track, but for every one like this kid I just told you about, there are maybe ten who sadly never get there
Debt gives me hives literally. My Ex wife was a spendthrift who secretly ran up $50,000 in credit card debt that I had no idea of on bullshit. Amazingly right after I paid it off she cheated on me and left me for a another guy. Guess what, she's still the same and the dumbass she married is working himself to death paying her bills thus karma got him for being the "other man".
ReplyDeleteMy current wife is an accountant and fabulous with money. Except for our cars (almost paid off) and our mortgage -- no debt. If I want something I save up in an old fashioned savings account until I have the money to pay cash for it.
That poor dumb kid you know is working his ass off, the wife is probably stepping out on him while he is on the road and if he's not making his payments I see repo men, garnishment and bankruptcy in his future.
Yours is too common a story… I’ve seen it before. Bruce’s wife, however, is a dynamo too. She was debt free too until she married Bruce. And yeah - like everyone else they have car loans and mortgages… but Bruce is the one driving the spending. His wife is a big wheel at our church and runs a lot of the social functions like summer camps, the girls club, etc.
DeleteBut whadda I know - I avoid details of people with stressed relationships and marriage. I think if she were a shrew their marriage would have collapsed already…