Poetry Corner - The Legend Of Yukon Pete

This piece of Canadiana comes from…Y’know what? I’m not gonna say. Ordinarily this fella is known for his sterling character and polite civic conduct. He also has a popular and distinguished blog of his own. If you’re so inclined… try and guess who our anonymous contributor is in the comments.

Hint: he has a penchant for fine literature and arts. No whispering from the Peanut Gallery!!!

That's Whore House Lil ! From the Legend of Yukon Pete.

Grab your glass and get your seat,

And I'll tell you about Whore House Lil and Yukon Pete!

Now, Lil was the village queen,

The fu ckinest whore you'd ever seen.

While some girls fu cked with grace and ease,

Lil blew dick like the summer breeze.

And when she fu cked, she fu cked for keeps,

She piled her victims up in heaps.

There was a rumor 'round that town,

That no man could put Lil's ass down.

But way up north, where twin rivers meet,

Lived a one-balled half-breed, name Yukon Pete!

Pete was a dirty, motherless soul,

Who fu cked bears, sheep and woodchuck holes.

He got a whip for Whore House Lil,

Packed up his rubbers, and came down the hill.

He strode into town on size 32 feet,

Dragging sixteen yards of that red-hot meat!

Well, the scene was set at windy mill,

By the brick sh ithouse, high on the hill.

All the ladies came for a ringside seat,

Just to watch that half-breed sink his meat.

Well, they fu cked, and they fu cked, and they fu cked for hours,

Uprooting trees, shrubs and flowers.

Lil did front flips, back flips, stunts

All unknown to most common cu nts.

But Pete caught on to every trick,

And kept on pumping in more dick!

Then Lil applied a whorehouse squeeze

That brought that half-breed to his knees.

But Pete came back with a Yukon grunt

That popped out her eyes, and split her cu nt!

Well, Lil rolled over, cut two farts and sighed:

"Boys, I've been fu cked," cut one more, and died.

When they asked that half-breed of his amazing feat,

He just said,

"Boys, I'm going back to the Yukon, and beat my meat!"