Well I went to the Prophet Of Sewage - the mudflap doctor down at the clinic. "Mr. Filthie - please to lower your blood chemicals!!! Your counts be getting unacceptably high and will anger the gods if it continues, thank you very much please!!! You must eat only blessed foods and shun evil meats, junk food and fats!!!!"
Fuggin quack - but even a stopped clock is right twice a day and I seriously gotta get my diet and weight under control. My dad was a big fat blimp until one day he just flipped a switch, started eating right and exercising...and his weight came down and he lived to be 83. He was like that with everything - he studied the issue, made the best decision he could - and that was that for that. He smoked like a stack for most of his life and just quit cold turkey one day too. I will see if I can follow in his foot steps. All I'm doing now is cutting the junk and fatty stuff, and the great big meals of meat and pizza and obvious crap food. Carbs and protein are now strictly limited and other than that I am eating mostly rabbit food. I was on a diabetic diet years ago (to facilitate weight loss, not diabetes) and it was alright. I ate cabbage, Ass Paragus, and leaves during the day and saved up my daily carb and protein allotment for supper time. It's not a bad way to go because you don't crave anything - at least, not badly. My buddy at church is going on the Carnivore Diet and I think he is full a beans. He's a lard ass like me and his wife - I'll just take the 5th Amendment on that because she is a wonderful lady and I love her too - but she is a little over on the rotund side like me. I wish them luck - that fag, Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan are doing it - which tells me all I need to know about it. Far as I am concerned the human animal was designed from the ground up as a trash can that could eat just about everything... and had to in order to function properly. My personal line of thinking is that there are no short cuts, and no magic bullets - I am going to have to change the way I live. Which means eating like an adult and exercising. Hannah and I are trying for 10 clicks a day and we got 11 today…๐ฅต My back is on fire after that but who knows? If I can lose some weight and get in some kind of shape the pain might abate a bit? We'll find out I guess.
****
Then I went to see the next Prophet Of The Gods - His Assholiness, Cederq The Magical Mystic. He was deep into his cups magical trance when we went for our consultation and gobbled a bunch of incoherent nonsense, the only intelligable words being "Your pooh will turn blue!!!!"
I'm pretty sure he meant to say "red". But that is why I pay him the big bucks: he has the gift of Second Sight and is right every single time! Unfortunately being touched by the gods - he is prone to violent erratic behaviour and after delivering the message from the gods - he started cursing, gobbing and throwing things so me and my entourage beat a hasty retreat. One does not trifle with the gods and their prophets, HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!
The Dirty Bird is on the drawing board and preliminary construction has begun. Whoever said that crap about "Measure twice and cut once"? My problem is that I measure twice, get a different result each time and just get frustrated and cut one to get the damned thing going. I discovered some brain farts going on with the plans too...there's a lot going on with these things and I'd imagine drafting the bloody plans is as hard or harder than the actual build!
Good lord! Who cut that one??? There's a gap there you can see ya girlfriend through! Doesn't bother me at all though. I am a wood working master! I'll just mix up some of Filthie's Filler - hit it with some thin CA to fill any micro-voids... and the glue will be stronger than the wood!
Still ... it's coming back to me. I built my first plane two or three years ago and a lot of forgotten hard lessons are being dutifully repeated. They're skills like anything else - if ya don't use 'em... ya lose 'em.
I hope that your Monday isn't a bucket of crap - and that your work week is off to a good start.
Cheers!
Filthie
Don't skimp on the proteins. Meat, baby! Bacon diet. Lots of veg. Just don't eat anything if it's white or fruit. Bread, potato, rice, cut the carbs. You will drop weight like a broken elevator. And don't ask the learned Dr why your cholesterol drops when you eat meat and bacon. All I got was a shrug and a sly smile. Bastids.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of sewage, or something, did you have anything to do with the strange odor wafting down from the north to southern WA?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.zerohedge.com/markets/strange-unidentified-smell-made-its-way-across-southern-washington-last-week
G, get yourself an weight vest for the dog walks and an TRX. Combined with diet change you will be the Adonis you were meant to be. The shit storm approaching demands you be at your fittest to have any chance at surviving or thriving, good luck!
ReplyDeleteChutes Magoo