Mr. Jeffries' Retirement - Epilogue

I followed the young nurse and tried with very limited success not to oggle her derriere as she walked briskly along. She stopped and gestured at the doorway and I nodded my thanks. She gave me a shy smile and left without a word. “Right, then,”I roused myself. Business. I knocked on the open door and poked my head in. "Mr. Jeffries?" I inquired.

The man in the room was well groomed, clean and barbered. He was dressed in clean hospital scrubs and he smiled warmly and laughed. "Yes, it's me, Captain MacColeman. Shocking, what a shave, shower and proper prescription will do for a fella isn't it? You hardly recognize me!”

It was shocking. "I come bearing gifts, Mr. Jeffries. I'm afraid that last time we met, my Merry Men and I were looting your apartment just before we flattened it. How are you adjusting to your new living arrangements?"

"Call me Tommy, Captain. The new arrangements are wonderful. I can go out for a walk and not worry about getting mugged or knocked out by some feral pavement ape. Or run over by some cranked up baboon. The people around me are kind and polite and that's just the beginning. It's heaven on earth compared to what I had before. I got so used to my old ways I never imagined a world like this was possible. If I lose something - someone finds it and returns it. You don’t have to lock anything up… It's all really quite extraordinary…”

“Good morning, Gentlemen!” A familiar voice called from behind me. I about faced and came to attention. “Knock that shite off, Captain - at ease! Tommy, you seditious shit - are you hoarding liquor and tobacco? I swear I can smell it…” I had no idea what the elderly General Brian Parker was doing at the hospital… but I swallowed my shock and saluted anyway.

“You’ve a good nose, sir. I’ve a bottle of Cardhu and some Havanas for Mr. Jeffries.” I said. “I’d hoped it would be a down payment on damages incurred to his person and property during our hasty evacuation from town a couple days ago,” I’d heard good things about General Parker and took an instant liking to him.

“Boys, we will have to go outside to visit and enjoy the Captain’s gifts, I’m afraid - the local dragon women will have our heads if we’re caught with contraband. There’s a courtyard just outside where smoking is permitted.” Tommy said.  I handed the packages over too him and got behind the General’s wheelchair to push.

***

We settled at a shaded picnic table in the courtyard. It was almost an idyllic setting. The sky was clear blue, the sun was warm and the birds sang the song of spring in the trees.

“As you may have guessed a couple days ago, I’ve been recalled to active duty, Captain MacColman. Supposedly it’s my job to help decide how to prosecute America’s next civil war for our side.” General Parker said. I took a long drag on the cigar, trying to order my thoughts and choose my words. I’d not expected to see him here. Apparently he and Tommy Jeffries were good friends. “General…may I ask why Command didn’t inform us of that missile strike? Mr. Jeffries, my men and I were uncomfortably close when they hit…”

“Apologies, my friends. But before I continue - much of what I need to say about this matter is classified and goes no further than this table. Agreed, Tommy?” The General had (rightfully) assumed my consent to the confidentiality. Tommy nodded. Satisfied, the General proceeded. “Unfortunately it wasn’t my call. Our dear friends and allies, the communist Chinese - decided on the missile strike and only informed me at the last moment.”

“Brian! We are allied with Chinks, now? Are you mad? The track record for human rights those monkeys have is despicable. Those little yellow bastards-“… Parker held up his hand trying to shush Tommy. His hands trembled a bit as he pulled some cigarettes out and lit one. “Again, guys - not my call. Now that America is essentially Balkanized, we are in the opening stages of a 5 or 6 way race war. Our comrades today might well be at our throats tomorrow. The chinks and blacks hate each other and supposedly the strike was in retaliation for an African American attack on an oriental enclave down south. When the clippers decided to hit the city I only had time to get on the blower and order you boys to take cover.” Parker hesitated, lost in his own thoughts. “The bloody hell of it!” he cursed, “communist Chinese? Arbitrarily deciding to flatten a city of American negroes? I could bloody well spit!” he said bitterly.

I nodded sombrely. “How are you going to proceed with a… a race war, General?” I inquired. “Good grief…what about half breeds? And how in hell will we tell friend from foe? We have…we HAD black allies even in the city… former city… and hell’s bells… no rescue or humanitarian aid after the hit? All due respect, sir…but what are those REMFs thinking?”

General Parker looked around cautiously. “This is the kicker about that,” he said quietly. “Just a little scotch for me, Gary… I’m on enough medications to kill an fuggin elephant! Tommy - keep a sharp eye out for eavesdroppers…” He threw back the dribble of scotch, and then regarded his cigarette as he thought.

“The Chinese strike was twofold. Vengeance has a high cultural priority with traditional Chinese, and ‘losing face’ or honour is not something they’ll tolerate. But, additionally…they used this occasion to test both their new cruise missiles and their new antimatter warheads. As you can attest…both passed the test with flying colours.

“There’s no humanitarian efforts being made because there are no survivors. When an antimatter warhead … ‘detonates’ (that is probably not the applicable term)…the thermal energy release is not the actual killer. What kills is the field that’s set up by the weapon. Within it, all the dimensions collapse into one for a few picoseconds…simulating the conditions that existed before the Big Bang. When the  field effect collapses and the dimensions and space-time reassert themselves…you get a mini-Big-Bang…which you fellas saw up close and personal.”

Tommy and I vapour locked…comprehension of such a weapon eluded us. “Again, we are tinkering with forces we have no understanding of…” Tommy whispered quietly. “You hit the nail right on the head, Tommy,” the General replied, “Apparently, until now… no one actually knew what would happen when one of these weapons were used in real life. Previously everything was hypothetical. Some of the weapons engineers and physicists feared that a black hole would be created that could swallow the earth. Others speculated that a permanent “unreality field” would set up and spew out God-only-knows-what. Nobody knew for certain what could happen. But…now I guess we now know a little more for sure… or, at least, we have a better idea. Everything within the yield radius dies - right down to microbes. It’s physically impossible to ‘survive’ a weapon blast like this,”

“So…this is the world me and my REMF’s are leaving for you, Captain MacColeman: uncertain allies, undefined enemies, and weapons that would scare the shit out of God Almighty Himself. I could lecture you on what the Chinese are doing with genetics and bio-engineered soldiers…but I think I’ve scared you both enough!” Parker concluded. I reached for the bottle and pointedly poured doubles for Mr. Jeffries and myself. I’d have begged God’s mercy for us and forgiveness for what was surely to follow… but I doubted He’d listen.

***

A shocked gasp startled me out of my reverie. “Oh you stupid, STUPID bastards!” the nurse raged. “Mr. Parker! You’re a stage IV cancer patient!!! And you’re out here, smoking and drinking?  What in hell is the matter with you?!? And you, Tommy! You couldn’t wait to be discharged to put your nose in a glass? You’ll be discharged today, damn you. See how the staff at the Senior’s Centre put up with your bullshit! There’s good people knocking themselves out just trying to keep you assholes alive and comfortable!”

Turning to me, the elderly nurse scolded, “who’s your commanding officer, soldier? I’ll have a few words with him too! These people are old, sick and frail! You should be tossed in the stockade, you idiotic…!!!”

“That’s enough, Helen. These idiots are under my command and orders, on military business. You’re both dismissed, gentlemen, go about your business!” Tommy and I shot to our feet, eager to be away from the hiding we’d just received. “Now, Helen - you can tell Dr. Asher that we can discuss chemo next week. I’ll be going back to work first thing tomorrow. All you two need to focus on for now is keeping me going for the short term. I have so much to do…and I just wanted to take a short little break with friends before leaning into my workload…”

Once we’d fled a safe distance we stopped at a convenient park bench so Tommy could catch his breath. “I like your General, Gary. But… I’m just blown. I fear the scotch may have gotten the better of me… would you be so kind to excuse me so I could go lie down? And…thanks for all your help… and good luck in the days ahead, Captain.”

“You as well, Mr. Jeffries.” I said. 

I feared we would all need lots of luck in the days ahead.