I try to insert some of those words in horrible fashion for every powerpoint slide deck I have to make and present. I always try to use the words incorrectly and see if anyone notices. Occasionally I'll see some snickering in the audience, most of the time it flies right over their heads.
"We're going to optimize our focus on paradigm shift while retaining our value added alignment across the board as a best practice solution."
1. NEVER tell a joke. 2. NEVER be alone with anyone - but most especially a woman (or alphabet person) under any circumstances 3. NEVER let anyone know what you did on the weekend, your holidays, free time outside of work. 4. NEVER let anyone know that you enjoy your job. 5. NEVER socialise with anyone outside of work
Basically we have to operate on the principle that some c-nut is attempting to knife us in the back at all times. Seriously it can be a horrible workplace but I have financial responsibilities and need the dough. For now.
I have to operate like that kids book “Stainless Steel Rat” to survive.
Unfortunately all our “people-leaders” are fluent in that corporate-speak. .
I try to insert some of those words in horrible fashion for every powerpoint slide deck I have to make and present. I always try to use the words incorrectly and see if anyone notices. Occasionally I'll see some snickering in the audience, most of the time it flies right over their heads.
ReplyDelete"We're going to optimize our focus on paradigm shift while retaining our value added alignment across the board as a best practice solution."
There you go.
The only ones i regularly have to deal with are : best practices and industry standards.
ReplyDeleteExile1981
I had to put up with that crap at "big airplane company".
ReplyDeleteIf you can't explain it to a five year old, you don't understand it yourself.
ReplyDeleteRules of public sector employment:
ReplyDelete1. NEVER tell a joke.
2. NEVER be alone with anyone - but most especially a woman (or alphabet person) under any circumstances
3. NEVER let anyone know what you did on the weekend, your holidays, free time outside of work.
4. NEVER let anyone know that you enjoy your job.
5. NEVER socialise with anyone outside of work
Basically we have to operate on the principle that some c-nut is attempting to knife us in the back at all times. Seriously it can be a horrible workplace but I have financial responsibilities and need the dough. For now.
I have to operate like that kids book “Stainless Steel Rat” to survive.
Unfortunately all our “people-leaders” are fluent in that corporate-speak. .