It's a fine line, teaching a human or a puppy, what is OK without causing psychological damage. It's possible, and spankings are almost always necessary. Torture is a bit beyond.
I have three kids and never spank them. Punishment? Yup, they get consequences for bad behaviour, very consistently, which is key. Yet they regularly tell me and their mom that they love us, out of the blue. Fair, reasonable and proportionate is the goal and if l get it wrong l admit it and apologize. Easier to take back a three day ban on T.V. than a spanking.
You cannot reason with a toddler. We spanked our children when they were small, and now they are well behaved adults. And yes, they often tell us they love us.
Judicious use of spankings early prevents judicial sentencing later.
Toddlers are easy to put in a pen, like we did when they misbehaved. We never expect more than the kid was able to give, so some tolerance of immature behaviour was ok. Discipline is key, not spanking. Same outcome. My oldest got awards for honesty and they all are quick to confess to what they did because they wont get hit if they do.
My wife was very anti-spanking when the kids were little for much the same reason. Her mom beat her (beat, not spanked). Beat as in hit her with a cast iron skillet for "playing with her food" type beating. I tried many times to explain that proper spanking for instructional purposes was way different to no avail.
Now that the kids are grown, she's all like "we really should have spanked them more often", as if it was a joint decision not to spank. The "I told you so" impulse is strong but I resist.
I think a lot of this goes back to women being extremely narcissistic to the point of always making things about themselves. Since she was beat as a child, all spanking is wrong. Nevermind that proper spanking is different, her experience is the reigning judgment here. Everything else is moot. They just can't think outside of themselves.
It's a fine line, teaching a human or a puppy, what is OK without causing psychological damage. It's possible, and spankings are almost always necessary. Torture is a bit beyond.
ReplyDeleteDunno, sounds like the lesson stuck. Also the tree nut didn't move much.
ReplyDeleteI have three kids and never spank them. Punishment? Yup, they get consequences for bad behaviour, very consistently, which is key. Yet they regularly tell me and their mom that they love us, out of the blue.
ReplyDeleteFair, reasonable and proportionate is the goal and if l get it wrong l admit it and apologize. Easier to take back a three day ban on T.V. than a spanking.
You cannot reason with a toddler. We spanked our children when they were small, and now they are well behaved adults. And yes, they often tell us they love us.
DeleteJudicious use of spankings early prevents judicial sentencing later.
Right, big difference between spankings and whipping or beatings.
DeleteOh, unnecessary comment, Don C covered it below.
Toddlers are easy to put in a pen, like we did when they misbehaved. We never expect more than the kid was able to give, so some tolerance of immature behaviour was ok. Discipline is key, not spanking. Same outcome. My oldest got awards for honesty and they all are quick to confess to what they did because they wont get hit if they do.
DeleteWomen:
ReplyDeleteWhat do we want ????
We don’t know !!!???!!!!
When do we want it ????
NOW !!!!
My wife was very anti-spanking when the kids were little for much the same reason. Her mom beat her (beat, not spanked). Beat as in hit her with a cast iron skillet for "playing with her food" type beating. I tried many times to explain that proper spanking for instructional purposes was way different to no avail.
ReplyDeleteNow that the kids are grown, she's all like "we really should have spanked them more often", as if it was a joint decision not to spank. The "I told you so" impulse is strong but I resist.
I think a lot of this goes back to women being extremely narcissistic to the point of always making things about themselves. Since she was beat as a child, all spanking is wrong. Nevermind that proper spanking is different, her experience is the reigning judgment here. Everything else is moot. They just can't think outside of themselves.
I'll take "Things That Never Happened" for $500, Alex.
ReplyDelete