Thursday, December 12, 2024

I Can Smell This Truck

 



Cigarettes. Wet dawg. Dead farts. A defeated Christmas tree air freshener. Perhaps trace amounts of aftershave. Varsol and gasoline. Minus the rifle - It coulda been Pop’s old farm truck. The thing was always  spotless and ran like a top. The various stenches weren’t over powering; but they were there like old memories that don’t go away.  You’d notice them if they were gone. 

The other day I saw an ad for a new truck. It drives itself. Tilt-power everything-cruise-a/c-etc-ad nauseum. Full leather interior with a TV screen in the console with full avionics. Whadda they call it? An infotainment console? So ya can drive it with your cell phone? I dunno what’s going on with the powered tailgates now… the one I saw looked like a transformer autobot glitching as he tried to turn from a truck into something else.

They say us guys used to have a life expectancy of about 30. You had time to grow up, get married and then ya died. There occasions when I wonder if I have lived far, far beyond my time. 

10 comments:

  1. i feel the same way

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  2. Things I want on my pickup truck:
    heater
    4 wd
    rear view camera (prevents backing over something)
    V8 engine with serious torque
    industrial grade cooling system for engine and trans
    serious trailer hitch
    radio

    two bumper stickers:
    Smith & Wesson
    Tailgate Me and Find Out

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    Replies
    1. Y’know, A… that’s all I’d want too, if I were towing. I do not like the new vehicles at all. They’re too smart, too complex and a truck that’s too pretty to work is no good to anyone…

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  3. I have an "air freshener" hanging from my rear view mirror: Hoppes' Number Nine! Got it from the 'zon, and you can too.

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  4. Ford jammed our collective butts with that "twin-ibeam" bullshit. It rode smooth because most of the time the wheel assemblies were in the air. I drove and owned a slew of them. All were an excercise in false marketing. POS of the highest order.

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    Replies
    1. Don't know what happened to you, but the Twin I system is the BEST thing since self contained metallic cartridges (as long as you double shock 'em, tread scalloping without). I ran 'em from '74 till last year. Been abusing them ('67-'79, 1/2 and 3/4 ton) in tree service, daily driver and off road. Durable, rock, curb and bullet proof. Apparently, your mileage varied.

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  5. These new trucks are FANTASTIC when they are new. The ladies LOVE them. Buuuuuuuuttttttttttt t t t - they have to be disposed of before the warranty runs out. Otherwise when some computer gets a BSOD and it costs 3 x the value of the car to repair. The best car we ever had was an old 45-series Toyota troop carrier. Had vents on the floor you opened with your foot, vinyl interior etc etc etc. The reason we sold it was the body rusted out. I wish I had Snoopy-the-Troopy today, but I’d love to win the lottery too. Prob should buy a ticket eh?

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    Replies
    1. Yep, I'm old and broke now, my '86, 1 ton toyota and my '74, 1 ton Ford are all I have left of my once mighty battle fleet of Fords.
      Though, I went through a phase of Datsun 620, pick ups, back in the '80's and '90's, but they were gutless wonders until I started putting '72/73 Merc. Capri V6's in them, then they were hhhaauuuught.

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  6. Give me Carburetors or gives me death. I’m sick of vehicles I can’t work on.

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