F: Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Retards

100 years ago a buddy of mine was working security at some kind a Stampede Wrestling summer slam event in one of the small towns up north. He was laughing his ass off because the main event was one of the superhero Hart Brothers vs the eeeeevil Mr. Hito - a deadly rogue chinaman that could kill a dozen men with a dirty look. The dressing rooms where the gladiators prepared for the death match was a shack with two doors and naturally us rubes thought there were two dressing rooms. When the fearsome fighters came out they sneered and threatened each other the way deadly adversaries would… but unknown to us, the two dressing rooms were actually one common one. Before the performance the two actors yukked it up like old friends, but were full of dire menace and hate when they came out to ham for the cameras and fans. As my buddy the security guard told me all this I just wished he hadn’t told me at all. Of course I knew it was all fake but I did enjoy the spectacle. The next day Mr. Hito was spotted at the town’s KFC eating a barrel of chicken… just an amicable fat slob gorging on delicious junk food. All vestiges of the mysterious deadly assassin were gone. All masks eventually slip, exposing the actors behind them.

I eventually tired of the antics of the wrestlers or maybe I just grew up and had far better ways to entertain myself. Other fads came and went, the world moved on and for awhile, carried me with it. But as it is with all old people, I was eventually kicked off the bus and left behind. Unlike many oldsters I’m okay with it, because I think that bus is eventually going to go sailing off a cliff soon.

I wonder if those old Stampede Wrestling charlatans are the role models for politicos today? In private - the best of friends… but out in public… deadly enemies… ? I’m just getting that old wrestling vibe as the players say their lines, shake their fists, and promise dire punishment for the various Establishment swamp creatures that are killing us today. I don’t want to see clowns and swine like Justin Turdo or the various Yank equivalents quietly dismissed into early retirement to enjoy their stolen millions… I want to see those assholes in orange jumpsuits doing time. The same way we would if we pulled the same crap they do.