Monday, September 9, 2024

All Hail The Burger Prophet

 


This is true burg scripture.

I will not tolerate ANY mystery meat heretics, apostates or burg
insurgents or schismatics or their dissention in my presence.


I will, however, greatly appreciate any helpful tips or advice. I have some ground beef in the fridge and for the first time in my domesticated life - I am going to try and do burgs on the stove top. Some of the crap I am seeing on OyTube is just flat out sinful. Big, fat, retarded soys are putting on sloppy sauces, eggs, avacados and other faggotly ingredients on their burgs and as far as I'm concerned - they will burn in Burger Hell for their sins!

The burg should be simple, elegant and easy to eat without having to eat it like a pig or a klingon. 

Wish me luck, folks - and have yourselves an excellent Monday!

14 comments:

  1. My burg recipe:

    1 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef
    1/2 cup Bread Crumbs
    1/4 cup milk
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
    1/4 teaspoon pepper
    1 small onion, finely chopped (1/4 cup)
    1 egg

    Mix in a bowl, shape into whatever size patty you want. Find a hot skillet and cook to your heart's content.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you have there is fried meatloaf, not a burger.

      Delete
    2. I add about 1/4 of the meat as ground pork, 3/4 ground beef. Then add spices salt, pepper, worcestershire sauce and diced onions. The pork acts as a binder to hold the mix together.

      Let set in fridge 15-20 minutes after forming for the pork to do its magic and everything to firm up.

      Exile1981

      Delete
    3. @TechieDude: Noted, but I tend to take the opinions of people who consume but don't create with the grain of salt they deserve...especially since you have never tried my recipe and you haven't offered a better one.

      @Exile1981: the pork is a neat idea. I may just try that myself. I was thinking of using bison as well. I use the egg and bread crumbs to keep the burger from falling apart. It's a trick my mom taught me eons ago.

      Delete
  2. The burg should be simple, elegant.

    beef
    salt
    black pepper
    bun
    ketchup
    mustard

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's room for onion and tomato, but even without, sounds good.

      Delete
  3. Fry bacon in the cast iron skillet first, then fry the burger in the bacon grease. Salt and pepper in the meat, maybe garlic. Toast the bun, mayo and mustard, add some cheese of any flavor, there you go.

    If you trust the meat, I go for slightly above medium rare, even though the govt states that all ground meat should be well done. A nice hint of pink makes it taste so much better. Mileage may vary, but over-done meat just doesn't work for me.

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  4. Done properly George Foreman grill produces the moistest burgers. Gotta keep a close watch though.

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  5. The man is right on the money. Throat cancer changed how I taste. The more complicated something is, the less I taste it. Burgers should be as he said. Good bun, good meat, lettuce tomato onion, but only in such amounts that the structure is maintained.
    I'm blessed to live around 4-5 mom & pop burger places, one better than the other, and they cook to temp, so I can get medium.

    Burning the everloving shit out of a burger ruins it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mix Farm Dust in the meat then cookerate to your liking.

    Chutes Magoo

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  7. Cook the burger in a cast iron skillet with some fresh onions, salt and pepper. Simple and delicious. Then garnish your bun how you like it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My recipe is almost exactly the same as JL’s but I use an egg instead of milk, and onion powder because the wife can’t handle them.

    It’s bizarre - when I cook, I use onions everywhere and love them. The wife won’t put them in anything and they fell right out of my diet years ago. Getting them back again is soooo nice. Next time I’m going to use real onions for mine and plain burgs for her…

    ReplyDelete