Dream ANALysis: An Evening At The Improv

Well it’s 3:45 am and I’m sitting here, hopelessly awake. 😡

It’s terrible. I have these dreams that I’m living in times from my old life - but the geography is different and the wife and I are kids again living in the old townhouse. Landmarks are missing or somewhere else, or missing altogether. It messes me up in the dream and when I first wake up. I’ve walked into walls at night doing that, HAR HAR HAR!

So tonight… I was at Yuk Yuks. 100 years ago it was a dump supposedly dedicated to aspiring comedians but it was actually a shooting range for brutal hecklers. They were often better than the hapless stand up comedians and would destroy them without mercy.

But not tonight! All my favourite pig comedians are there and they’re bringing the roof down. Eddie Murphy does old school foul mouthed jogger comedy. Then Andrew Dice Clay comes out.

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet

A light bulb was crammed up her ass.

It woke up the spider

That lived deep inside her

And said

“Look! Free electric and gas!”

HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!! 😂👍 Whadda night!!! I could almost taste the beer!

Then Pete F comes out - and he’s telling this joke about faggots: “there’s these two butt blasters going at it at 140 MPH! The one in front farts and inflates the one behind like a puffer fish! So he pulls out, spins the one in front around, and says - ” Then the crowd comes to its feet roaring and laughing their guts out! Applause thunders through the little bar. In the crowd, there’s some green and pink haired purple faced lesbian rage heads having kiniptions. I turn to the other spectators, “What??? What?!?! What’d he say??? What’d he say!?!?”  But the people around me are laughing too hard to answer. “I gotta know!!!” I pleaded, “ WHAT WAS THE JOKE???”

And then I wake up with the pup licking me all over the face and cleaning my eyeballs. GAH!!! I walk into the wall instead of the crapper because my on board map and GPS systems reset. Now I’m sitting here, angry at the pup for washing my face and ruining a great joke.

Someone… please… can anyone please tell me what the punchline was?