Monday Morning Moron Ramble: “I’ve Never Had A .30-06…”

 Well it’s friggin’ raining. Again. I shouldn’t bitch … but I still do anyways. I woke up irritable and cranky (like why should today be any different, HAR HAR HAR!!!) and the fuggin rain is still pissing down. I was gonna go kick some senior delinquent ass on dawg patrol this morn but all the senior delinquents are huddling inside. Not even the Corvette Kid was gonna bother with this weather. Plus the wife was along for the stroll so I had to behave myself. The niglet loves rain and stopped to slurp all the water puddles and everyone was chipper and happy which just pished me off even more!!!

When we got home I went out to my Playhouse Of Happiness to have a pipe, do my morning bible and cheer up a bit.

So I’m out here trying to achieve my usual state of peaceful spiritual perfection but the old lady let the Niglet out. Aaaaaaand of course the little boon has to come see me and stir up trouble. I’m mired in scriptures and verses and I hear an odd sound: “Glit! Glit! Glit!” and I turn around and the little bugger is licking the grill on my little cast iron hibachi that I was storing inside out of the rain. I grumped and gave her chit for that… so the demented turdlet grabbed some cedar shakes I’d strategically placed on the floor… There’s a little lip of a nailer in the entrance the shed doors close up against… so to back Big Red out, I use those old scraps as a sort of a ramp to get the big cruiser over it. But! We can’t have that! The Niglet starts grabbing them and running off with them to chew and leave ‘em where I’m sure to hit them with the mower! Gawddammit…!!!

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🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬!!!

I am in a complete state of unpreparedness and collapse out here. The weed whacker needs to come apart and I think the drive shaft calved. The pressure washer has a fouled carb I need to clean. I really need to dump the oils and look at the air filters and spark plugs on everything. The grass is drinking up the rain and will probly be 4 ft tall before I get a dry spell to cut it. Then the old lady comes out and starts busting my chops about the camper. I’ve got water coming in and I think it’s around that window in the back. I have some RTV sealant that I put on as a temporary solution, and I *think* I got it fixed…but the mattress inside under that window is stained and maybe ruined. At some point I will need to peel all the old weather stripping off and re-apply some new proper sealant.

Our bed is right under that big window…

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Siiiiiiiggggghhhhh. 

I don’t care, I ain’t doing any of it till the bloody weather is halfway decent again. I should get a break later this week….

So I just said to hell with it. I knocked the dottle outta my pipe, closed up the shed and herded everyone back into the house and ordered silence from the women whilst I checked my email and important correspondence. And just wait until ya hear this: that fag, Mike, is on there with pics of his latest purchases! A pristine 03 Springfield, and a like-new Uberti hog leg! I got so damned green with jealousy that I’m now thoroughly constipated!  I have lots of 45’s but that sweet Springfield hurt me where I live!

The .30-06 was literally invented for the 1903 Springfield, and it was equally at home in the spectacular M1 Garand that came along later. In my opinion it is the king of the old world battlefield rifles! I wanted one forever but they are seldom seen up here in Canada and command retarded prices. Mike tells us he never owned a .30-06 rifle before and was shopping for reloading components. I was kinda astonished because I thought I was the only gun tard in the world who never had one. It’s my scholarly opinion that the cartridge is only worth the time of day in the old milsurps. 

Ya look at how they offer guns made in .30-06 these days: 22” (sometimes 20”!!!) pipes in cheap econo-actions with plastic stocks and cheapo actions. Ughhhh!!! They’re BORING!!! Reloading for them is boring too! Bah - a humdrum powder like IMR 4350 in that plain brown can?!?! Yawn. The .30-06 is like the 9mm in pistols: to properly enjoy it, it HAS to be shot in a grand old milsurp to bring out the legendary romance and mystique of the vintage round. In a sporting gun… you need it to have a 24” pipe, good wood, a legendary strong American action - topped off with a great scope and furnished with a quality M1917 leather sling! Ahhhhhhh…not even legendary hunters like WL Emery could speak out against that!

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Mike is going to be a MAJOR nuisance as I try to retain my supremacy on the rifle range. Oh well…nothing lasts forever, HAR HAR HAR!

Anyways… it’s a rainy Victoria Day long weekend up here and I am in a holding pattern until further notice, I guess. I hope you Yanks had a great start to your week, and that you are useful and productive… unlike me up here.

Thanks for stopping in.

Filthie